As I lay in the bed uneasy. I knew, felt it, sensed it. Circling our log cabin, slowly. No noise. But it was there. I tried to tell myself it was just owls in the surrounding woods. I lay awake all night in a heightened state of terror.
Earlier that evening. Whilst enjoying a log burner, relaxing evening. I’d suddenly got a rush of dread, demanded that Ange immediately close and lock the patio doors and shut all curtains. Things can’t see in…
Something in the beginnings of that dark night summoned itself scared me deeply.
It has been a September stay in Somerset. With a hot tub, day trip to Lyme Regis, Adventures. We had arrived relieved and excited for a relaxing break.
I’ve always felt and sensed more than some. A curse in some ways. In others a blessing of super feelings. My dreams have always been graphically real, strange. If my passing from this life is as exciting and psychedelic as these and leads me to peace, I have no complaints! Walking through the veil can leave be miffed, disturbed and exhausted upon waking. It also brings fantastic feelings of hope, positivity Guardian Angel reassurance. They present a beautiful feminine and recognised energy to me and visit in differing forms.
When I encounter earth bound recognitions. It’s inspiring, gets me out of fugs and funks. Restores faith in the good souls.
Whatever ‘it’ was, I knew that if it had entered our cabin. If I’d have seen it. I would have been changed forever. I did feel danger physically.
I don’t believe it was just an animal either. I had werewolves and got myself in a right state about it for hours of restless terror.
When I told Ange about it the next morning. She had slept soundly. Putting it down to be de-stressing from work. I felt different and strongly disagreed.
I’ve never forgotten this experience. I would never be brave enough to confront what lurked that night. Apart from that one strange night. We had a wonderful time.
Do I fear dangerous humans? Or the darkness that lurks.
Moonlight, starry skies. The changing from dusk to dawn is magical. Some of formative years were spend sleepless and nocturnal. Working night shifts, walking home to the sunrise and comfort, deepest of sleep and daytime dreams.
The visitations more intense.
Going back ever younger, as a child. One night the multiple voices were chattering. In the room I shared with my Sister, in my head? I recall shouting “Stop!”
I’d sometimes think about skeletons, and feel a deep emptiness.
A curiosity with the great beyond has been present from early childhood.
Whatever gifts we are given. A certain responsibility comes with them.
How much to share before judgements are made? Sharing with the likeminded.
The fascinating mind, thoughts, experiences. Past lives, flashes, Deja vu. Regression, answers lead to acceptance and focus on journeys.
Spirituality, dimensions, spirits, esotericism, cryptozoology, UFO’s fascinate me.
When I moved back to live at my parents, after a ‘lost time’ renting rooms. Or the occasions before that when I’d stayed in my old bedroom.
I’d be asleep, or dozing. Suddenly.. I felt something approaching on the landing. It would enter the room (door closed) go to the end of the bed. Then walk up my legs and sit.
Initially I was silently freaked out. Feeling a physical presence. Not wanting to look in case I saw ‘it.’ Falling asleep and upon waking, telling myself it’s just me dreaming.
But the repetition. This entity didn’t feel bad. It’s felt quite positive. There energy, I can only describe as ‘shimmering.’
Fast forward to Ange and I getting together and embracing our spiritual path.
I mentioned it after another encounter. She instantly said – it’s your Grandads dog. She is looking after your dad.
It was Katie. A Yorkshire Terrier. ( now the size of the physical experience made sense )
I felt relief, emotional. I remember that doggie from childhood.
Ange helps others now with ‘house cleansing.’ If a spirit is causing a problem, it’s ok. Ange helps them into the light. Helps them release ties with this world. Sometimes they are stranded, stubborn, or just don’t realise they are dead. Scared to face the music after things they have done whilst alive..
When I was in the folk band ‘The Idolins’ we had met in a pub beer garden. A few drinks later. I was conversing with friend about some difficulties he was experiencing. It took a strange and frightening turn of events. I suddenly felt tight chested. Like something suddenly grabbed me. It felt like claws digging in. Freaking out I shouted Ange. She ‘saw it.’ Grabbed it and removed it.
I could breathe again. A dark entity? Soul, Demon? That when I realised Ange’s true abilities with these things. Some of the people there found it funny, sniggering. Spoke volumes to me.
Another realisation in life- when hanging about the wrong sorts – for me, not fitting in. Thinking all along, it’s my social insecurities. When all along – it’s just incompatibility. Being around genuine spiritual folk makes me far more comfortable. At that time I was opening up . My energies were open…. Maybe too open, when made me vulnerable to an attempted attachment of something. A lesson for me… it took a while… years.
Even though I’m very open about myself and beliefs. I thrive in good compatible company. It makes it so much easier to understand why I struggle so much in muggleland. The escape plan is very real… and enjoyable.
Whatever doors, a jar, fully opened. I think are part of my gifts. My creativity cannot be capped off, put away. It only bursts out with a happy vengeance. This is why the channeling of music is not only self therapy. But a life’s work. Maybe angels, others are speaking through my fingers. As like I’ve said before. I have very few memories of performing. The ‘trance’ is blissful. The result recorded sounds wonderful to me. I don’t question it. I just go with it with gratitude.
There was a flat we lived in Basford. A previous relationship and girlfriend that also saw dead people. My Grandma Ivy ( I think ) … a blond woman sat regularly at the end of our bed often. Something terrifying, claustrophobic lurked there, it was a very unhealthy place that made me ill – as well as the damp. my girlfriend moved out. My mum ended up
kicking off with the estate agents. Before I moved to a house. I ended up getting dumped, truly heart broken and went through a messy time, a lonely time, a self destructive time. From this.. getting dragged into other peoples dramas… has done me no good in life. The older I get. The effects and mental drain get worse. Even though I have a bursting desire to genuinely help others. I have to walk away and shut off. I’m not a councillor or therapist. Practice of Reiki, music, thrashing the cross trainer, good food and meditation. The love of Ange, our pets, family, good friends… Adventures and spiritual positive living help me.
I may have an active imagination. But I pick up ‘vibes.’ I just have a radar of highly attuned sensitivity to some things. Whilst switching off to a lot of what I feel – mundane day to day stuff.
Then there was the happenings at flat at Bestwood Park….the chains….ancient burial grounds….. when I woke and saw him.
Big high five to the weirdos, the unaccepted, the folks on your spirituality journeys. It’s a hell of a ride.
You can read more awakenings, experiences and what led to here in my Kindle book – Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.
Earth Tree Healing. New Age, Spiritual and instrumental music for meditation and relaxation Music links