My Mum Died: Mother – an album of beautiful dedication

There are no words that can fully describe the sudden loss of my mum on March 25th 2022, aged 69. I’ve always dreaded the eventual loss off a parent. I’m not here to discuss the finer details of her passing. Just to say that to us it was unexpected for us and sudden. For my Mum, I think she knew things were going wrong long before she was admitted to hospital. As a family – we had been planning her coming out, not knowing what was about to occur leading up to her time of death 12.17pm. Whist I have comfort in my oven beliefs of the great beyond. It doesn’t make the shock and grieving any easier. Time……

Grief is tidal. In time, it can recede and leave us with feelings of peace and advancement, only for it to wash back in with all its crushing hopelessness and sorrow. Back and forth it goes, but with each retreating drift of despair, we are left a little stronger, more resilient, more essential and better at our new life.” – Nick Cave

We’d got word that mum had spoken to Dad around 9am and was in good spirits and ok that Friday morning. But they were doing tests, due to a heart attack at some point. Later that day, I had been sat outside for a lunchtime break enjoying the sunshine and cherry blossom tree at work. Unknown to me Mum had already died by then. I got a phone text from my Brother to call my Dad urgently at 4pm. Just as I was finishing work. From that moment on. My world collapsed. (My mum had escaped Covid. But complications from having type 1 Diabetes as a teenager had taken its toll….)

What followed…Shock, disbelief, imaginings. The incessant replaying of my imaginary version of events in the hospital room she died. Her last texts….My Dads breaking.. utter, complete devastation, anger, not knowing why. I chose not to see her. But remember her in better times. I’d seen her the Sunday before she was admitted into hospital and spoke to her on the phone there Wednesday before. We had a pretty positive conversation, she seemed hopeful to be discharged the following week…That was not meant to be. is preparedness for a death easier than a sudden death, or is watching the decline and often suffering worse? (We have finally got the post mortem results, which have helped explain things)

I’ve never cried so much, never felt so lost. I continue to have moments where I question life and what the point is, my own mortality and health. Even though I’m a practicing spiritual being and very imperfect. The older I get the more I focus on our happiness and health. As wealth, and possessions matter little to the dead. Making memories, experiences and doing some good in the world being me great contentment and purpose.

At the age of 46, I lost the option to hug my Mummy physically. I miss that energy and pure love. I took 2 months off work to process, exist, work through exhaustion, support my Dad. I’m eternally grateful of friends, neighbours, the well being community for all of their kind words, actions and support. Its really has and is helping.

My mum was a card carrying Olympic gold medal winner of worrying. (I wish she had not absorbed and obsessed the news so much and focussed on happier things.) She was mad as a box of frogs, very eccentric and extremely set in her ways, had extremely sensitive hearing, where noise really bothered her. Never listened to a word we told her with ‘our news,’ we just got a ‘Well anyway!’ We often had disagreements and differing opinions. But she was also very kind and generous, would do anything for people. She was my mummy. We will miss going round for her buffet spreads and her stories of her elastic snapping and her skirt falling down in B&Q carpark. Then to hold it up all the way round shopping, only to tell my Dad later. The last few years were restrictive with visits, mum getting out and us keeping them safe, due to the Pandemic. In some ways, from what she said, she thought there would never been a return to normality with it all. In some of her last writings/ instructions, she said to visit her and ‘tell her our news..’ well we can now without interruptions! There was also an emphasis about us all being good humans and looking after each other.

She brought me into this world to experience it, that wonderful precious gift of life and hands for music making. All 3 of us children has been very poorly at birth, but thankfully we all survived. She told us she was pleased she had been here for some of our milestone birthdays. But had hinted she may not be here for her 70th. She loved her collection of over 1000’s Teddy Bears, her garden, nature and their cat ‘Mew.’ My parents were married 51 years. Together for a bit longer. Mum hated social media, so I was ‘banned’ by her from posting videos/ photos of her. Meaning I never got as much footage as I would have liked.

In the darkness of my grief. I began creating music. Dedicating it to Motherhood, loss and her memory. We had to wait a month for her natural burial at Tithe Green – a beautiful, peaceful place, where a cherry tree will be planted on her grave later this year, at the next plantings. (and a non religious insistence from mum in her final instructions) I played one of the tracks ‘Mother’ as she was interred. Along with her favourite Local Hero music by Mark Knopfler ‘Wild Theme’ and ‘Whistle Theme.’ (Also played on what would have been her 70th birthday on June 20th) by her grave, surrounded by her family.

Some things I never discussed with my Mum, Some things I just could not. But my music communicates all I need to say to her and about her. It has been an emotional journey. Crying in my home studio, creating this. Its also been healing. Whilst One never truly gets over loss and death, you learn to live with it. Initially I spoke I feared I’d never be able to feel joy again. It is all part of the steps of grief. there is no exact timetable and order to it. Even now something will set me off. I changed my next of kin contacts to remove my mum yesterday and it set me off crying. Going in a shop and seeing something she would have liked as a gift, or a flowery dress. There is an emptiness that comes with loss of a loved parent. When it first happened, I kept crying out ‘I want my mummy.’ As if the child of me and in me reawakened.

Watch my music and memories below.

Track listing: Album ‘Mother’ (Released later in 2022)

  1. Mother
  2. Womb
  3. Born
  4. Lullabye
  5. Butterflies and Bees
  6. Red Poppy
  7. Our Love is Undying
  8. The Cherry Tree
  9. The Garden
  10. Teddy Bear
  11. In Spirit

We’ve had messages, signs she is about in spirit and is ok. This gives me peace. My Dad is our main focus now, in supporting him and helping him in his twilight years. Cherish every moment, every day and spend quality time with your loved ones…… I take every days as it comes, work on myself, maintain my mental health, diving more into life changes, moving house, booking things to look forwards to. Good food, fresh air, forests. As much as I can Meditation and Reiki practice. Our new home we are moving to in August, is already known to me literally as ‘Healing House.’ We made the decision to move a while ago and began readying ourselves by de-junking and packing boxes. Seeing our new house and confirming its a definite goer was a good thing. I’ve discussed mortality with my Dad. plus our want to buy land and go and live a simple life. The escape from society can be achieved. Escaping from oneself, ones fears and issues is not so easy. I tried to escape and leave it all behind for a few days and short break in Somerset. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. It followed me with a vengeance. Dealing and fronting up to all of this, is a hard slog. A massive thank you to Ange, my wifey. I have put her through a lot of shit and upset. She has helped us all so much. Ange – I love you so much. xxxx

Ange told me the moment my mum passed, my Grandma (her mum) was waiting to take her. My Mum was never a believer in anything spiritual, ghosts, afterlife and had abandoned any previous Religious beliefs (Due to the horrors of the world-‘What God would allow so much suffering etc) I always said to her, she would find out it was all real one day. Now she has! She is fine, we are all not so fine. I’ve been given messages and information from a trusted Psychic reader (separately from Ange) that no one else would know. Which is really reassuring, comforting and interesting.

I’d gone upstairs, in the room that my mum used to do her jigsaws in. Not been in there for months at Dads. The clock on the wall had stopped dead at 12.17 (the time of death) I’d shouted down to my dad about this and checked that my brother and sister had not altered it. He said that clock had stopped the year before, mum had asked him to change the battery and he had not…..

Mum has been around a lot in my dreams lately. This brings comfort and upset as I miss her. I’ve talked to many people about loss. My loss is not comparable to yours, as we all experience different journeys with it. But kind of all join that ‘club.’

We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world–the company of those who have known suffering.” Helen Keller

There are people with far more tragic losses with their given circumstances. But it does in a good way, feel nice to help others with my own experiences. As positive things can come out of all of this too.

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross​

Julie West (mum)

You can watch the ‘Adventures with Clange’ moving house bitch fits and series here

There is also my own talking therapy Claud Vlogs:

My Dad ‘Face Timed’ me today. He has had a good day. Makes me happy.

GODS Nominated Best New Age Album

My Earth Tree Healing album GODS has been nominated for best new age album! 2021 Album Awards | One World Music Radio. https://www.oneworldmusicradio.com/2021-album-awards

https://www.oneworldmusicradio.com/2021-album-awards

Unexpected! I’m made up about it. I love good surprises. This album was composed and recorded during the lockdowns. It gave me strength, distraction and for me, has some powerful invocation music for honouring.

Music Links

https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

~Claudine

Creativity. It’s not easy being me….

2020-2022 (so far) have been some of the strangest times I’ve known. Some people have struggled and they have become the worst version of themselves. Others have embraced, adapted and flourished. My deepest sympathies go out if you have lost loved ones or even lost yourself.

I rediscovered a part of me and have been lavishing in it ever since.

Imagination is more important than knowledge” Albert Einstein.

Some of you may argue ofcourse.

Interesting read to think about. The link between creativity and mood disorders? The tortured genius. A myth, or the deal with the gifted that drives them. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/64852/scientists-tortured-artist-real-thing

Some of us are more suited academically, some are a bit of both. Some soar into genius. But are the gifted also cursed? Some have good memories for studying facts and are able to articulate a spin cycle in a washing machine, full of ‘already said’ drivel. Then get a reward of a piece of paper that says they have studied a subject well. Then do what with that knowledge? Save the bees, create more happiness, discover the cure? Go and do a job they hate? If you love your job, what do you do? What did you do to get it and get happy in it? What led you down a path of change for the better?

I’ve made peace with the fact that – whilst I do enjoy an interesting (to me) documentary and learn things. Education, learning, courses are no longer for me. I’ve only ever done them for day job career advancement. I have a very short attention span with these things and can often fall unconscious. It feels like a hamster wheel. Saying that… I’ve most likely lost out of some really good things being this way too! I now embrace learning and experiencing opportunities that enhance vibrations and visualizations.

With the creative spectrum. Some swing on an extreme pirate ship pendulum, into realms few understand. Some sit on the edge of a volcanic lava lake of madness. Some cannot cope with their gifts and ‘normality’ brings them isolation, boredom, despair. It’s also worth looking at how open your crown chakras is.

Whilst some enjoy pottering through life watching soaps and scandals. Its not for me. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to only have that as a satisfaction for recreation/pleasure/leisure and enjoy it… Then I shiver at the thought. I find long bouts in front of the TV makes be feel I’m wasting my life. So I just don’t do it.. unless poorly or exhausted having a movie night. My drive is my pressure and my self pressure is my drive. That is not a bad thing. It also helps me relax.

Creatives strive to imagine and produce their best work. Leaving legacies. Some are never satisfied, whilst surrounded by praise. Their talent often undiscovered. If not social media or marketing savvy and shy, it’s easy to be weirded out. When the internet arrived, opportunities came a knocking. It also created overkill. A tidal wave of everything. Too much.

So few shine bright enough to stand out. Self belief, stamina and perseverance is the choice between paving the road for success, sustainability and satisfaction. Or giving up. It just takes one person to like one thing you do.. or one door to open into Narnia! the world is vast.

Words, reputation, ideas and good things get shared. Put a bunch of great musicians in a room, let them jam and you get something raw, improvised and pretty darn wild. 😉 That’s me on drums BTW. – Stinking Rita.

Anatomy of a Tree – Oils on canvas Claudine West

Art covers our walls, some of it will stay, some will be sold, some is commissioned, some is gifted. I love making it. Others love viewing and collecting it. Which is fabulous.

I struggle, sometimes with bouts of melancholy. I mostly put it down to day job stresses. When I’ve worked in mundane jobs, or in my NHS Career. ‘My crack at a responsible job.’ I suffer the same troubles. Maybe I am just not meant to do that? The universe is telling me to just do the things that makes me happy. Art and music. But sensible chatty head makes me pay my way. Relying on benefits is not for me.

My mission 2022 onwards is making enough money from my creativity, taking the leap of faith to survive. As one gets older, one seeks more comforts. I am also super sensitive and in tune with vibes. If you put me around negative folk, I go on that one way rollercoaster, riding that sponge to Hell!

I have to constantly practice ‘self shielding’ and protecting myself can be draining when caught off guard, yet set routines can help prevent suffering when joy vacuums pop up unexpectedly. Put me in a field of flowers with blue skies with laughter… Put me amongst positive people. We attract the seekers of healing. Its just who we are.

Yesterday I nearly resigned, I’d seriously had enough. I am tired. Work is affecting me in very negative ways, its creating arguments at home. My moods are shit. But last night I slept, exhausted. I slept really, really well for the first time in ages! I feel full of vitality today. A supportive colleague today said that laughter at work helped. All I want to do is scream and cry. My job is far from the worst of them. I will also add that the current government should be ashamed!

I seek peace and comfort. I’ve not had a proper break for months. Many others are far worse off than myself. So I’m grateful. But it still doesn’t stop me feeling low, helpless, loyal to the NHS but living in despair. Whilst some are able to work from home. I’m a few steps away from the front line. But my pity party continues… big respect and thanks to my colleagues/ team who are working / multi tasking, going far above and beyond their job remit. Short staffed but a big family who are supporting me in dark moments.

Massive gratitude to Richard and Norma at the weekend for their hospitality. I’ve never needed a gong bath so much!

I’ve been eating so much veg, (especially avocado’s) to feel good inside and to combat my winter dark mood. Toilets and Ange my wifey are not thanking me though! That’s on top of vitamin D 365 days a year and a few other supplements. Going for weekend walks in the wilderness is healing.

I believe in enjoying my journey with creativity. I’m humble at praise. I pity the person that ‘just wants fame and huge monetary reward.’ The art and pleasure is in ‘making’ the art. Fame hunger is an empty egotistical want in my opinion. But if life was fair and just, non of us would have anything to bicker and bitch about. Imagine the concept – when there is just happiness….

My own happiness: I am confident that I create things that satisfy me. So if others like it.. Then that my friends.. is even better. In a world full of imitations and 12 music notes to choose from. Where is there to go? There is a cosmic piano that we play that takes us to multiple dimensions in our spirit and imagination. What a ride!

Whilst it is very easy for me to crawl into bed in an evening during January after a demoralizing, challenging and soul destroying day working in the NHS during the ‘Omicron’ surge. I want to break free…my solution and survival tactics? Well….

Alas there is a way that is getting me through. Like I’ve said. Whilst I’ve had many moments ready to throw the towel in through extra workload piled on, frustrations, burnout covering staff sickness, wanting to escape it. Do I hope my feelings change? Or is it the reason to leave? As the suffering upon my physical and mental health is not good. For one that likes to focus on projects uninterrupted. I chose the wrong job! I always chose the wrong day job…

For myself. I love creating stuff. Whether that be art, sculpture or music. I’m not one to recreate a photograph. I interpret. I create abstract. with music, I create melody, rhythm, calm. Both generate good feelings whether on the eyes, fingers or ears. You can very much benefit from vibrations without listening. Sound Therapy/ Gong Baths. – If I would have found them 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have done a lot of the self destructive things I’ve done to myself.

I’d never class myself as ‘normal.’ I just have a different thought process. An odd child. I tried to eat bumble bees. (I have no memory of this) Shyness has ruled, social uncomfortableness.. some days I’m ok. Some I cant bear to be around people. My mind chatters like you would not believe. But creating and not surprisingly meditation shuts it up. This works for me.

I have always been creative. A gift or learned? From crayons to paints, from keyboards to guitars, drums and many other instruments… I only know I enjoy it and find it easy to do. That doesn’t mean I haven’t practiced it and dedicated my life. I have. Things flow easy like a stream. I often think I’m a conduit. A human that channels ‘things.’ I don’t have to think too much. I simply set an intention. I’m well practiced at this, like anything, it didn’t just happen over night. Decades of commitment. Rewarded with a body of work, enjoyment and experience. The end result of ‘going with the flow’ is very lovely. Like my abstract art and improvised musical performances, this blog will be rife with grammatical errors. Perfection is not for me.

Imagination and my Tribe: I’ve always had vivid dreams. The tiniest element of ‘normal or not.’ Reality can warp into something truly freaky, occasionally very nice. What I put in – is what I get out on my sleepy time movies, experiences.

Dimensions, dreams of flying, spirit guides… Often have I connected with someone, I’ve been intrigued. I don’t mean sexually like a predator—oh nooooo!!!… but intrigued at what makes them shine.. to me anyway. Whilst walking down a crowded street, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.. The masses look grey to me. But put me at a concert at Hyde Park in London or a festival/gigs with true music lovers and the masses look vibrant. Maybe bonding with the energies with like – minded music lovers? = My Tribe.

If I’m actively engaging with people. It means I’m interested, collaborating. If I’m not. They have either fallen of my radar and I’m not being rude… or being rude – I have no interest. That sounds really terrible… But it’s the truth. I drift…..

I’m not sure if there is a ‘Claud forever’ gang. I have drifted through short lived friendships, acquaintances, a couple of intriguing harmless obsessions/crushes. One night stands and a few relationships. (Not including my life relationship with Ange, who is my world) In my experience, some have taught me valuable lessons and then it was time to move on. I’ve never departed from my musical instruments. Whilst did put my art to bed from time to time.

What I do know is that I’m most alive when creating. “Everything has beauty. but not everyone sees it.” Confucius

With art, I don’t use words. With composition, I don’t use words. Mixing colours, tones, melodies to create beautiful things is marvelous.

View some of my art creations:

My personal ethos: Creating colourful oil paintings and music brings me the kind of satisfaction.. when you feel really, really well, healthy. When you get the double flake in a Mr Whippy ice cream. When you lay on grass on a perfect day, staring up into the big blue beautiful skies. Making out images in the clouds. The touch, or words that gives one butterflies. When you see and feel something so wonderful. It shakes your very soul.

Satisfaction…When you get to the summit of the mountain, or the top of a hill, small or large and it HURTS! Or just make it through the day alive.

With my art and music; I feel I have contributed. I have paid it forward. That I am giving pleasure to the people. Not all the people, as one cannot expect all to enjoy ones offerings. But that gives me satisfaction. It gives me purpose.  After I’ve departed. There will be a body of works left. I’m certainly not taking them into the next plane/ spirit level.

 I’ve got to say. Music life is a good life. I enjoy it immensely. Whilst in some ways I regret not pursuing it more vigorously when younger, one is never too old to vigorously pursue ones loves. I was too busy/stupid in some ways escaping the world – getting drunk and stoned, but productive song writing and recording music in home studios. Maybe I held myself back?  Or maybe all of that led to this and the now.  

Goddess 2 release 2.2.22

Then there is blissful silence. It gives me space to breathe and really focus. I do not have music blaring constantly. I like to focus, when I focus. Distractions when I’m focusing and being pestered brings out the worst in me. I’m short tempered, moody, snappy and overreact. I do this to loved ones and not to strangers. I should not do this at all. Why the rush to create so much..? Time will tell. It’s a conviction, an urge, a volcano. I cannot resist the impulse. I cannot ignore it. It wont let me. It a burning desire. An addiction that’s detox is misery and feeling worthless and frustrated. It’s not easy being me.

Creativity awakens my Kundalini

In my mind – I cannot fathom getting any pleasure (and I know many people do) out of doing a puzzles or a jigsaw that creates a picture. I would just paint a picture if I needed to pass the time. I find passing the time, I’m wasting time. Or being taught how to paint like Bob Ross. It is copying. Same as covers bands who get the claps and praise. They are a copy. Nothing kudos or new about it. Creating a ‘one off’ is so much better for keeps. Now this is not being arrogant and cocky or superior. It’s just the way I think, Its my opinion in my head. I drive my own frustrations basically…Yes I piss myself off.

When not doing the above. We travel, explore…I immensely enjoy the journey, sometimes am a little sad at the arrival destination. My relaxation is exploring the destination, its culture, its sights, food, offerings. Memory banking. The return home is never good. Even though our little house is our home, we love our pets and miss them. The city where we live is not our destiny. We are constantly drawn elsewhere. My soul drives me on an endless road looking.. searching for that perfect spot where I can rest.

When tired after a challenging day in winter. I’ll get in bed in an evening with the cats and indulge in YouTube. I am currently addicted to Mav, Cecilia Blomdahl, Eamon & Bec, Sailing La Vagabonde, Kinging -It, The exPAWers, Elsa Rhae & Barron, Jonna Jinton, Girl in the Woods, Earthfiles, The Endless Adventure, Eva Zu Beck, Bush Radical, Max & Occy, My Self Reliance, Casey Neistat, Adventures with Clange 😉 (I thank Lockdown for finding them and more) I did begin watching Secrets of the Whales on Disney channel. Had to turn it off once they showed seals being ripped apart… Yes its nature… but it upsets me.  If I watch a horror film (rarely now – going back to the dream thing!) no amount of gore bothers me. But a real living thing suffering, scared… Nope, nope, nope. Yet I still eat meat. Not a lot of it.

 Evening viewing could range from UFO’s, aliens, the cosmos, spiritual journeys, werewolf sightings, Big foot. Last night I watched on YouTube  Meet the Mennonites: Inside the Ultra-Conservative Community – ENDEVR documentary’ I took from this their contentment, but they knew only what they had experienced, mostly the simple life of education, building, religion, family set tasks and expectations  and survival without societies expectations or pressures. But in some ways missing out on games, travel to see beautiful new places, try new foods. Well it is not for them.

I also watched ‘Poverty in the World’s Richest Country: Meet the USA’s Poorest People – AMERICAN Poverty Documentary’ From YouTube Java Discover – Free Global Documentaries & Clips. It brought a lump to my throat and tears. In this age. People should not have to live in cars, in streets, in tents getting leftover display pizza for food. This doc was only a snapshot following a few people’s lives. For whatever reason people end up like that, whether it was due to circumstance changes. I counted my blessings last night. After a terrible Monday at work. Which followed on from a challenging 8 months, with more and more pressure and expectation without resource

This is where the balance and the joy come in. Creativity drives me, its compulsive; it makes me happy, satisfied. I’ve learned how to pick up a brush and pallet knife and slap paint on a canvas. I pick up an instrument and make notes, combine them, layer instruments, like paint and try to make something colourful. I create vibrations that travel forever. What a beautiful gift to give. When my bones turn to dust.. creatives continue…

My Art Claudine West Art

My Music = Earth Tree Healing

Earth Tree Healing music

  • Claudine

Goddess 2 album 2.2.22

The arrival of my new album is new to you but old to me, as have enjoyed it months in advance. I held it back for release in ‘22 as got ahead of myself recording. Lockdown for me was a productive home studio blissful indulgence for musical hermits. I hope you get the same enjoyment listening to these, finding favorites, creating playlists of my music, as I do composing, recording and performing them. There is a favorite section/ bridge in The Triple Goddess 2 mins 46 seconds in that I love. It is the sound of love and divinity to my ears.

The follow up from my Earth Tree Healing album Goddess. (Track Goddess Temple is a worldwide favourite) Which accompanies the album GODS. Goddess 2 is released Second February Twenty Twenty Two. 2.2.22.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

I composed and recorded it at my home studio ‘Claudsville Studios‘ (which is also my meditation and art space and its way to small) most of it during the lockdowns of 2020/2021. I assure you! .. it was a great escape from the doom, gloom, loss and restrictions, fears and benefits of the Pandemic too. Without being a sign of the times. It is a captured reflection of my creativity during strange times, leaning to the advice, support, protection, love of Deities.

Its an ode and a conduit to connect. Music of dedication, essence. The Divine femininity of Deities. An album dedicated to melody, beauty and esoteric rhythms. Whilst there are lots of Goddesses to chose from. These are relevant, synchronistic and were chosen during this particular journey. You can go about your routines, rituals, relaxation to it. Whilst my partner Ange taught some of these Goddesses during her workshops via Zoom. I recorded their resonance.

Track Listing: I’ve selected articles for links on the name titles to articles on these Goddesses. But please do research for in-depth understandings.

  1. The Triple Goddess The three goddesses Persephone, Demeter and Hekate are the original triple goddess, each an aspect of the one great goddess:- Persephone the maiden, Demeter the mother and Hekate the crone or older goddess.
  2. Lilith’s Embrace
  3. Persephone The goddess queen of the underworld
  4. Demeter The Olympian goddess of the harvest and agriculture, presiding over grains and the fertility of the earth.
  5. Isis The ancient Egyptian goddess of fertility and is also known as the goddess of motherhood, magic, death, healing, and rebirth.
  6. Venus is a Roman goddess, whose functions encompassed love, beauty, desire, sex, fertility, prosperity, and victory.
  7. Áine is an Irish goddess of summer, wealth and sovereignty. She is associated with midsummer and the sun.
  8. Blodeuwedd Goddess of flowers, emotions, the wisdom of innocence and initiation ceremonies. She is also known as the Ninefold Goddess of the Western Isles of Paradise.
  9. Frigg in Norse mythology is the goddess of motherhood and is herself the mother of Balder, Hodor and Hermod. Frigg is also the goddess of marriage and her name comes from the verb “fríja” = to love.
  10. Freya is a goddess associated with love, beauty, fertility, sex, war, gold and seiðr.
  11. Lilith Was the first wife of Adam who left the Garden of Eden and became the mother of demons and the supreme empress of Hell. She is also credited as the creator of the Turok-Han, an ancient species of vampire, and is thus regarded as the Mother of Vampires.
  12. Nemesis Nemesis was the goddess of divine retribution and revenge, who would show her wrath to any human being that would commit hubris, i.e. arrogance before the gods.
  13. Saraswati The Hindu goddess of knowledge, music, art, speech, wisdom, and learning.
  14. Mawu is a creator goddess, associated with the Sun and Moon in Dahomey mythology. Mawu’s themes are creativity, Universal Law, passion, abundance, birth, and inspiration.
Making of Goddess 2 videos
Vlogging
Mawu

Fantastic Vibrations and Sound Therapy

It’s been a vibrational weekend. You know when you get that tired, but buzzing you can’t sleep before or after.. Then Monday happens FFS.

We participated at the LizianEvents Newark Well Being Market 10th & 11th July 2021. I have a table with my music on at the shows. I’m not a saleswoman. The thought of it gives me inner and outer turmoil. So please do talk all things musical with me and I’m relaxed. Ange deals with business, negotiation and money. I’ve afforded CD duplication runs some of my Earth Tree Healing albums, for hard copy seekers of independent artist relaxation, meditation and melody – positives to a pandemic and not going out or on many Adventures With Clange (Our YouTube Vlog) in 2020/2021. It truly is an honour when I connect with people who already have some and enjoy the music I channel. Success to me is others finding and benefitting from my finger dribblings.

Financial gains are reinvested in instruments, music releases. I have a full time challenging at times and pandemics day job within the Supply Chain, Procurement function, (without adequate pay rises for over a decade!) In the NHS. As well as Ange’s relentless hard work 7 days a week as a self employed bird running 3 businesses. That affords our bills, rent and a few treats and adventures.. Plus extra satisfaction that I’m doing my bit for helping patients. I’d previously walked away from 18 years in retail – As could no longer bear the abuse, whining and violence from the general public, rubbish hours and rubbish pay. Being non stop in employment from the age of 16. It has been a slog. Times I haven’t coped, needed time outs…Motivations, ambition and trying every day gets us one step closer. Pity parties, well… happen but get dealt with. But now is time to focus on futures. This journey is great.

Before Ange and I became patrons of these shows. I’d been a bit cynical about having ‘therapies’ especially with the people about in a big venue. Housing a mind that wanders and chatters more than the easy morning birds. I meditate at home in solitude…Music is my meditation too. Well until the cats realise and head butt the healing room door miaowing – thinking I’m dead! I’m also quite new to sound therapies. I’ve been committed to creating my own vibrations musically for 30 years. I’d not really explored it. Now friends, I confess…I’m a true convert and addict. If you haven’t tried it, what have you to lose? You may discover something that releases, balances, journeys and opens up something truly amazing.

Now we are full blown participants. Ange focusing fully with selling magical herbal incense, handmade candles etc with Fenix Flames and the book publishing side. She did used to do Tarot Readings at the events. But is busy enough doing it as her ‘day job’ from home, and wants to focus on building the Fenix Flames business. When people come in asking, ‘where are the witches?’ it’s an honour. Ange loves doing talks and demonstrations. Genuinely helping others with their paths. Making money with integrity business is one thing. Being affordable and accessible is paramount. But there is also a responsibility for others and doing things the right way without greed or jealousy. A customer and client has a choice. There are enough for all.

Fenix Flames

We connect with community members. I now do a ‘Tongue Drum’ accompaniment with Alan Wood’s Native American Traditions and Saging Ceremonies outside the venue at the events. Which are now followed by a Guided Meditation by Ange and live sounds my me outside (weather permitting) Ange and I are planning to record some new Earth Tree Healing guided meditation CD’s off the back of great feedback. I also play the Tongue Drum for Don and Carol Harradine’s Taiji demonstrations and Qigong. We have built lasting friendships with this community. It’s one big family.

Even though Ange and I have Bitch Fit domestics, when I’ve spent all my show ‘pocket money’ on treatments and ask for more £. :-0 A treat! I purchased some Orgonite Pyramids from Mysical Messengers which are a stunning addition to our healing room and home studio.

Saturday: Before kick off of the event. A gong bath by Richard Hissitt who I’ve also commissioned to build me solfeggio tubes (used for healing) Every time I embark on a gong bath spiritual journey. It involves other worldly visions, a great feeling of out of body departure and relaxation. I remember looking up in my minds eye to a blue sky above the purple haze and seeing a mothership in the clouds. Very UFO related. A subject I actively enjoy. I’ve very excited for future ventures with Richard, Norma and Luna.

Sunday: Congeries of Sound Therapy. The show before this… Intrigue and Iza Moon convinced me to try. Eyes closed. Breathing calmer. As the frantic mind chatter subsided. The pulsating shapes and colours came. A psychic lava lamp. Brilliant light. A rush of the purest fresh air… breathing. A clearance. When I’m the presence of masters, archangels..The presence of God. The energies are strong. The journey to my true self is underway. I’m still struggling to speak my full truth. As the day job and study blocks send my mind chatter into crazy. The fear of letting go and fully embracing my creativity is a struggle beyond previous addictions. The advice and truths given were absolute, not offensive and perfect. Each session different in tone, instrument, therapeutic act. There are moments when I wish I’d pressed record. The Rav Vast Drum played a hauntingly soul encapsulating melody. Darren channels his guides. I’m now saving up for one – patience Claud, the wait is worth the reward! My latest (as I invest all back into it and album renewals on Tunecore for my Earth Tree Healing digital releases) music royalties are currently tied up in releasing my new album ‘Pilgrimage of Elements.’ I’m trying not to sound like ‘Braggy McBragville from Bragland’ stating I really enjoyed composing, recording and listening to this album. Its proper chill. I love it. It kept the darkness from the door during the last year I tell thee!

The song and tone is beautiful. Thank you Darren. Congeries of Sound Discussing Shamanic Healing and the joy of sound therapy. Iza also had just bought one, after experiencing treatments from Darren too. We will all be going to ‘Rav Vast drums’ Addicts Anonymous soon!

Here is a video of me performing at this event. (I’ve asked advice from Mr Timothy and a really good iphone mic is also on my shopping list to buy)

My path is clearer. Synchronicities.. Please so help me by listening to my music and sharing. Getting out there to more listeners really does pay me to invest in making more music.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Again huge thanks to Liz, Ian and the community. Without. We would not have been given this opportunity to grow and connect.

  • Claudine
  • PS Ange #2 aka (Little Ange) took a photo on the way to the Sunday show. She zoomed in on an orb in the sky… I enhanced it as black. Any ideas?
Top left orb

??? WTF ???

Cornwall With Clange and Vlogs 2021

We arrived back to Nottingham last night. After 9 hours navigating traffic jams around the M5 from Boscastle, Cornwall. Bank Holiday madness! We both agreed… next time we will stop over in Glastonbury. Rambo cat woke me at 5am for fuss and to dribble on me in bed.

As I approach my 46th year (May 30th) in this body, in this reality. It’s been a deep journey! I’m hoping the road is much longer.

We’ve spent the last few days. Enjoying wind, rain, sunshine, sunsets. We began in Portsmouth then a road trip through Devon to Newquay, Cornwall.

Southsea Beach, Portsmouth (Where the stink began)

It was great to see Ange’s parents again after so long. Lateral Flow Tests a go go and the ability to go inside restaurants to eat again. as its been rain rain in the UK in May 2021!

We visited The Sculpture Park in Farnham. There were hundreds! The video below captures just a few. Great day out.

Vlogging and capturing elements of our journey gives us memories and documents some wonderful experiences for Ange and Myself. If you enjoy them, or get inspired…that’s even better!

Video explains more than words:

In this YouTube exclusive series. Clange visit. Newquay, Japanese Garden, Eden Project, Land’s End, Boscastle : Museum of Witchcraft and Magic May 2021.

The 2020/2021 Covid Pandemic UK Lockdown: After an exercise filled start with clear blue skies and good weather lead, like many to ‘Sloth and troff’ behaviours and indulgences. (Or for some drinking and drugging to death) We just ate nice food. I needed a clear head for work. Alcohol just doesn’t help me with stress. My cure is meditation, creativity with music making, travel and good food.

We only scratched the surface of good food eateries in the short time we were in Cornwall. (More in the Adventures with Clange YouTube Videos) A big mention to Fore Street Cafe Bar in Newquay (Postcode Number 38 TR7 1LP) (parking with toilets for 20p is opposite (TR7 1HD) – get there early- Yes bring lots of 20ps and change for parking in Cornwall or set up card payment apps) We enjoyed some exquisite breakfasts and Cinnamon Bun take aways.

Opposite is a bakers that does and amazing Monkey Bread and Pain Au Chocolat at the Pavilion Bakery (37 TR7 1HD)

Also The Mexican Street Food VanEl Huichol

The Boathouse Charlestown does finger licking amazing crispy Calamari and burgers (Ange says its the best burger she has ever eaten)

A special doughnut (baked in Bude) and good cup of tea at Harbour Light Tea Garden opposite the Witch Museum (PL35 0AG)

Fore Street Cafe Bar Breakfast &
The Japanese Garden

A reminder when there is no Land Train! Our walking at The Eden Project (a great day out BTW) was not only painful. But a reminder in the mountain of fitness we both need to climb. Wearing masking in a tropical rainforest biome though… really is swelteringly unpleasant. Video here

Whereas Land’s End was a tourist ‘signpost’ and underwhelming disappointment. (We wecommend The Lizard) A distinct disgusting fishy smell that developed in our car was minging (watch the videos!) Boscastle was magical and intriguing. (We will spend more time in that area on our next visit) The Minack Theater was booked up. So again… next time.

Witchy adventures to The Merry Maidens and Museum of Witchcraft and Magic (Well worth spending time there. A treasure trove of info, history exhibits and artefacts) Did I mention I made a video of this in our Adventures With Clange vlog series.

Museum of Witchcraft and Magic Vlog

The beaches – especially Fistral Beach, Newquay. Was the tonic to our lockdown ailments. Filming in windy weather, up a cliff was refreshing, invigorating. The negative sea ions cleansed the last year of home pandemic imprisonments.

Filmed on Fistral Beach (in high winds) Music ‘Azure Oceans’ from my new album, Pilgrimage of Elements.

When I am amongst the beauty of nature. I am most alive. When I capture it. To accompany my music. It completes the circle. Performing music live is one of the best feelings.

We enjoyed and captured a beautiful sunset with surfers and beach dwellers too. It reminded me of the hippy vibes, as we sat on Benirrás Beach in Ibiza. Watching the sun go down a few years ago.

In Cornwall – there was space, great food (amazing breakfasts at Fore Street Cafe Bar in Newquay)

Massive thanks to our Airbnb hosts. Good value, lots of cats and really close to the beach.

Finishing with a very tasty Cornish Pasty from Boscastle Bakery.

As we continued our search in Cornwall for the vibes and location to permanently move to… Somerset’s beauty and greenery still beckons. So we aren’t ruling anything out.

I do feel really relaxed after this trip. We always miss our cats when away. We try to fuss every dog about on our trips.

Back to day job work next week.

The Pandemic pressures and events in the NHS for its staff, families and patients have frankly been horrific. It’s lead to a lot of contemplation of what I do and where we go next. To pay the bills. As yes there is a satisfaction of duty that I helped a little bit. There is also no job satisfaction with pressures and feeling helpless shielding, but still working from home during the worst. Now I’m back working on campus. Still feeling like the new girl. With my final module of my CIPS qualification. There is light at the end of the tunnel to fully focus on my passions.

My New Age Album ‘Pilgrimage of Elements’ (Earth Tree Healing) is released August 2021. Lockdown allowed me to embrace more productive time for my creativity and happiness. Whilst also doing more collaborative projects. I’ll be performing acoustically & vibrationally (guitar, hand pan & tongue drums) supporting meditations & community members at Lizian Events Well Being Markets & Pagan Tribal Gathering 2021. Back on the drum kit – Tightening bingo wings with Stinking Rita Band. I’ll also be focussing on my art.

Be well, be safe, explore.

~ Claudine

You can read more awakenings, experiences and what led to here in my Kindle book – Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.

Earth Tree Healing. New Age, Spiritual and instrumental music for meditation and relaxation Music links

You can also follow Adventures With Clange on our YouTube platform. These are mine, Ange’s records of trips, food, family. Check out the older playlists too from my Claudine West Channel.

I Lost The Dark at Dawn

As I lay in the bed uneasy. I knew, felt it, sensed it. Circling our log cabin, slowly. No noise. But it was there. I tried to tell myself it was just owls in the surrounding woods. I lay awake all night in a heightened state of terror.

Earlier that evening. Whilst enjoying a log burner, relaxing evening. I’d suddenly got a rush of dread, demanded that Ange immediately close and lock the patio doors and shut all curtains. Things can’t see in…

Something in the beginnings of that dark night summoned itself scared me deeply.

It has been a September stay in Somerset. With a hot tub, day trip to Lyme Regis, Adventures. We had arrived relieved and excited for a relaxing break.

I’ve always felt and sensed more than some. A curse in some ways. In others a blessing of super feelings. My dreams have always been graphically real, strange. If my passing from this life is as exciting and psychedelic as these and leads me to peace, I have no complaints! Walking through the veil can leave be miffed, disturbed and exhausted upon waking. It also brings fantastic feelings of hope, positivity Guardian Angel reassurance. They present a beautiful feminine and recognised energy to me and visit in differing forms.

When I encounter earth bound recognitions. It’s inspiring, gets me out of fugs and funks. Restores faith in the good souls.

Whatever ‘it’ was, I knew that if it had entered our cabin. If I’d have seen it. I would have been changed forever. I did feel danger physically.

I don’t believe it was just an animal either. I had werewolves and got myself in a right state about it for hours of restless terror.

When I told Ange about it the next morning. She had slept soundly. Putting it down to be de-stressing from work. I felt different and strongly disagreed.

I’ve never forgotten this experience. I would never be brave enough to confront what lurked that night. Apart from that one strange night. We had a wonderful time.

Do I fear dangerous humans? Or the darkness that lurks.

Moonlight, starry skies. The changing from dusk to dawn is magical. Some of formative years were spend sleepless and nocturnal. Working night shifts, walking home to the sunrise and comfort, deepest of sleep and daytime dreams.

The visitations more intense.

Going back ever younger, as a child. One night the multiple voices were chattering. In the room I shared with my Sister, in my head? I recall shouting “Stop!”

They did.

I’d sometimes think about skeletons, and feel a deep emptiness.

A curiosity with the great beyond has been present from early childhood.

Whatever gifts we are given. A certain responsibility comes with them.

How much to share before judgements are made? Sharing with the likeminded.

The fascinating mind, thoughts, experiences. Past lives, flashes, Deja vu. Regression, answers lead to acceptance and focus on journeys.

Spirituality, dimensions, spirits, esotericism, cryptozoology, UFO’s fascinate me.

When I moved back to live at my parents, after a ‘lost time’ renting rooms. Or the occasions before that when I’d stayed in my old bedroom.

I’d be asleep, or dozing. Suddenly.. I felt something approaching on the landing. It would enter the room (door closed) go to the end of the bed. Then walk up my legs and sit.

Initially I was silently freaked out. Feeling a physical presence. Not wanting to look in case I saw ‘it.’ Falling asleep and upon waking, telling myself it’s just me dreaming.

But the repetition. This entity didn’t feel bad. It’s felt quite positive. There energy, I can only describe as ‘shimmering.’

Fast forward to Ange and I getting together and embracing our spiritual path.

I mentioned it after another encounter. She instantly said – it’s your Grandads dog. She is looking after your dad.

It was Katie. A Yorkshire Terrier. ( now the size of the physical experience made sense )

I felt relief, emotional. I remember that doggie from childhood.

Ange helps others now with ‘house cleansing.’ If a spirit is causing a problem, it’s ok. Ange helps them into the light. Helps them release ties with this world. Sometimes they are stranded, stubborn, or just don’t realise they are dead. Scared to face the music after things they have done whilst alive..

Angela Barker Tarot House and business cleansing

When I was in the folk band ‘The Idolins’ we had met in a pub beer garden. A few drinks later. I was conversing with friend about some difficulties he was experiencing. It took a strange and frightening turn of events. I suddenly felt tight chested. Like something suddenly grabbed me. It felt like claws digging in. Freaking out I shouted Ange. She ‘saw it.’ Grabbed it and removed it.

I could breathe again. A dark entity? Soul, Demon? That when I realised Ange’s true abilities with these things. Some of the people there found it funny, sniggering. Spoke volumes to me.

Another realisation in life- when hanging about the wrong sorts – for me, not fitting in. Thinking all along, it’s my social insecurities. When all along – it’s just incompatibility. Being around genuine spiritual folk makes me far more comfortable. At that time I was opening up . My energies were open…. Maybe too open, when made me vulnerable to an attempted attachment of something. A lesson for me… it took a while… years.

Even though I’m very open about myself and beliefs. I thrive in good compatible company. It makes it so much easier to understand why I struggle so much in muggleland. The escape plan is very real… and enjoyable.

Whatever doors, a jar, fully opened. I think are part of my gifts. My creativity cannot be capped off, put away. It only bursts out with a happy vengeance. This is why the channeling of music is not only self therapy. But a life’s work. Maybe angels, others are speaking through my fingers. As like I’ve said before. I have very few memories of performing. The ‘trance’ is blissful. The result recorded sounds wonderful to me. I don’t question it. I just go with it with gratitude.

There was a flat we lived in Basford. A previous relationship and girlfriend that also saw dead people. My Grandma Ivy ( I think ) … a blond woman sat regularly at the end of our bed often. Something terrifying, claustrophobic lurked there, it was a very unhealthy place that made me ill – as well as the damp. my girlfriend moved out. My mum ended up

kicking off with the estate agents. Before I moved to a house. I ended up getting dumped, truly heart broken and went through a messy time, a lonely time, a self destructive time. From this.. getting dragged into other peoples dramas… has done me no good in life. The older I get. The effects and mental drain get worse. Even though I have a bursting desire to genuinely help others. I have to walk away and shut off. I’m not a councillor or therapist. Practice of Reiki, music, thrashing the cross trainer, good food and meditation. The love of Ange, our pets, family, good friends… Adventures and spiritual positive living help me.

I may have an active imagination. But I pick up ‘vibes.’ I just have a radar of highly attuned sensitivity to some things. Whilst switching off to a lot of what I feel – mundane day to day stuff.

Then there was the happenings at flat at Bestwood Park….the chains….ancient burial grounds….. when I woke and saw him.

Big high five to the weirdos, the unaccepted, the folks on your spirituality journeys. It’s a hell of a ride.

You can read more awakenings, experiences and what led to here in my Kindle book – Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.

Earth Tree Healing. New Age, Spiritual and instrumental music for meditation and relaxation Music links

You can also follow Adventures With Clange on our YouTube platform. These are mine, Ange’s records of trips, food, family. Check out the older playlists too from my Claudine West Channel.

Human Spirit, Interaction and Vibrations

Being amongst your tribe is endearing. Having been an outsider, the difficult misunderstood angry, sulky and strange middle child, Lesbian, 5 feet 11″ tall, needing corrective facial surgery for a deformity at 19 years old. More tomboy than girlie girl. Never have and never will fit in. (maybe in another life for the shits and giggles?) Some elements society have not been kind in this one. Social, emotional coping at times is hard, continues. We are the creation of our genetics, Soul Journey, experiences, past lives and environments. My compensation for this has always been the gift musical and artistic talent. The ability to become the hermit and nomad wannabe – with the travel (Escape from ‘Muggletown’) Out of it all. I acknowledge what causes me stress and anxiety, work on how to make that better. Still piss Ange off – my Lady love of life and drive her up the walls and to despair at times. But we have more fun than domestics. (Ange do a pie chart if you want to argue!) P.S. total grammatical correctness eludes me.

On a side thought… you know when you wake up and the whole bedroom smells of fart, was it me, was it Ange? Was it both? As teamwork makes the dream work.

That is what Pattie Pops thinks!

By no means do I music envy major financial success and fame. If I have enough to be comfortable and pay the bills. I’m blessed. The interbred in-crowd bum chums self back patting is not for me. Put me in a room of strangers and ask me to network, talk ‘the’ talk. You simply put me in a nightmare. A face that never fitted even after surgery is fine by me. Focus on creation of ones art and music, and making that good, inspired, energy that flows from somewhere of beautiful connection. Put me in a room of like minded spiritual folk and it all becomes a hell of a lot easier.

On the note of escape. Neither of us pretend to want to remain in Nottingham. We want out. It is time to move on. If I had the opportunity tomorrow. I’d pack my knickers and the cats and go! Ange and I, with a serendipitous worlds colliding discussion over the weekend, lightbulb moments, (Bamboo style salt lamp for us – Thanks Dathan!) of another Ange and synchronicity thrown in. Hope and happiness, opportunities of a better future. Our goal and dream is to live on, work on and open to likeminded souls, the Earth Tree Retreat. We’ve looked at Somerset, Lincolnshire, Wales, Canada, Portugal, other countries. Planning permission is challenging. Money needs to be manifested. We are prepared to start off in our caravan in a field.

But Cornwall… Yes Cornwall! Small seeds, big ideas. Wild flower fields. Practical business beginnings….. Guitars…..Art 😉

The mere mention of the ins and outs of human interaction and imposed restrictions, mask wearing and social distancing. Debating the corrupt shit show that the present procrastinating UK Government is….= Sleaze, cronyism, lobbying, PPE procurement scandals… Shameful, disappointing but not surprising. Greed over life and well being. It goes on and on… Karma, Karma, Karma. The Agarthians, Greys, Reptilians, Tall Whites, must be face planting until it makes a sucky slapping sound…. unless of course…

Microsoft Teams shows the real you! ‘They Live’

For all of the arguments, conspiracies, fact, fiction, propaganda, manipulation and opinion. I work in the NHS. I chose that career ‘day job’ because I wanted to help serve patients, poorly people, do something good. It’s not easy, stressful at times. But I’m grateful of the opportunities given. The choice in life to sloth, do nothing with it, receive benefits, ‘poor me’ for ‘poor me’s’ sake or…drum roll… work hard, train, get education, create and embrace opportunities and contribute. Is far more satisfying to me personally. (Disclaimer for the people with real genuine needs) – excluding the fakers, ‘can’t cook, as don’t need to cook, when its all offered on a plate.’ ‘Can do but won’t do.’ Lazy ones whose own worlds apparently owe them something. Now I know some of you cherubs think you have had it hard. There is always someone worse off. It’s not all about you.

On a serious note though. If you are struggling, do seek help. It’s very easy to give advice, rather than deal with your own problems. There is mostly a solution to things. We’ve been given the greatest gift of life adventures. Wasting it, as it’s sometimes far too short, is a regret once you take that peek back from the big sky. Don’t let the bastards get you down either.

We sets me off? PMT, dark winters, work stress. (For however much longer I stay in the NHS very much depends on my experiences in the next 6 months) Keeping topped up with Spiritual practices, meditation/Reiki, exercise, fruit and veg, music, vitamin D and a few good supplements helps my moods immensely. Joy vacuums are best avoided. I have a great faith and strength in the fact that everything is OK. The folk who drag me into their problems, every single time I see them.. it’s a drain. It’s an absolute pleasure when I spend time fun. I was discussing the other day about that rollercoaster some of us experience with people. Sometimes the ones that you look up to, get inspired, learn from massively let themselves and you down with bad actions and behaviours. I’ve found. Sometimes people are in your life for a time, not forever for a reason. It’s an interesting journey. Never lose hope. Not everyone is a fooking wanker! But…. I’m never surprised at the barrage of moaners that are not prepared to stand up and take productive action with their issues. Bitterness and Ego are a recipe for disaster.

Here you go: the advice from 1000 self help books. In a world where the only one that can truly help you once guided (if needed) is actually (newsflash) you. A place where its easier to say rather than do. Denial is a disease. It’s sitting on a bench, looking at a crappy view of a wall, letting pigeons shit on your head.

I also don’t fancy getting a nasty virus so am being extra careful. The End. Well anyway….

During a UK pandemic lockdown easing and happening of our first Well Being Market in April 2021. So, the weekend 24th & 25th April 2021. Our first wellbeing Show, post lockdown easing. Ange and I were very excited. Hardly slept… a negative Lateral Flow Test later. Nostril ticking, throat gag reflex.

Having kept sensible and safe and possibly very lucky too – (this is not a blame game for those who decide to superspread Covid Juice, possibly to vulnerable others, who possibly don’t have super human love and light immune systems.. with their own beliefs)

Just maybe if the dictatorial ‘influencers’ and the spreaders of doom and gloom, hate could maybe be more influential to their social media readers. If they actually just posted positive stuff, ideas, inspiration, their very own fabulous experiences… Hey Ho kidlets …. I see, read, terrible things that humans do. Humans = Kingdom of cock nuggets! Conspiracies – some scary, some hilarious, some food for thought, some poorly evidenced. I’m glad Netflix saved me from reading some of the shite spouted.

2 UK lockdowns later. Our first vaccination done. I’ve not mutated into a reptilian yet. But have cookies, 50p and a Mars bar, organic produce and Tena Lady on hand if needed.

It all is given to Angela Barker if I clog pop (Will is written) and please do help animals.

So…

We had both arrived at the very well ventilated, helping prevent others being on ventilators venue in Newark, Nottinghamshire! Lizian Events Well Being Market. Reassured with completed with negative Lateral Flow tests, followed up with Negative results after the show (Yes a responsible thing to do, yes nothing is 100%) yes there is a YouTube video for just about everything.

I’ve got some underlying health box tickers. I am also mostly responsible for my lifestyle choices, past and present dear health Gurus. I don’t like lurgy of any kind at the best of times or having the shits. So, even though only space suits and ‘no one can hear you scream’ territory are possibly better protection. A medical mask, not a cloth fashion statement…. whilst wandering amongst population may offer some protection from covid/other spatter juice. If someone spat in your face. Would you rather be wearing a mask, or open your mouth and accept the full on phlegm monster is coming? Your choice. I still remember poor Sue on checkouts at Tesco, who was the correct small height for customers sneezing literally directly in her face. A job I suffered in and was always ill in. = Touching money, close public contact, viruses. Glad I left. Some good memories of some fun folks and times though. Lots of bad memories of dick heads (staff and customers) and abuse. Glad I got out, grew up, learned a few harsh lessons and became a better person.

So…I spent the weekend, mainly outside playing my hand pan & tongue drums. Supporting Taiji, with Dr Don & Carol Harradine. ‘Dance of Life.’

Alan Wood (Native American Traditions) Sage Cleansing Ceremony. Angela Barker – Fenix Flames Guided Meditations. (I took my acoustic guitar. I’ll wait until the June Show for more performing)

I’d kicked off the weekend vibrationally with The Pyramid Lady – Gong Sound Therapy by Richard Hissitt. I had a session. Solfeggio tuned metal healing pipes.

Whilst in session I experienced pulsing waves of purple, angelic wings, a feeling of heat, safety, alignment with the Universe. Afterwards, pain relied in my knees, well being, relaxation.

Even though I’ve worked with sound and vibrations most of my life. I was a gong bath virgin until a few years ago. Now I’m an addict. I’ve encountered other worldly beings and bliss. If you’ve not tried one. I can only but recommend.

Music has kept me occupied, satisfied, and accomplished during this hell of a strange 12 Months. Freedom in Pandemic Prison. The meditation escape. Fabulous darlings.

The weekend was a success. Great community spirit. I’m trying to work my way round talking to the exhibitors show by show, to get to know them and what they do. Such a treat after shielding through what has been a long dark winter.

I have my CD’s now for sale. I’m not a sales woman. 18 years of abuse and personal insecurities working in retail. That damage imprint is lasting. Sometime small children take one look at me and their faces say ‘what are you?’ Bob 2? I put the ones that don’t get or connect with me off with Claud vibes.. It grips Anges shit! Can’t talk the talk. Leave it to Ange, best way. She is focusing on her businesses Fenix Flames/Publishing & Angela Barker Tarot. Here business and financial survival (not through the governments grants through lockdown as being newly self employed was entitled to nothing. We sleep better knowing we did not vote them in) Survival through the Lockdowns and thriving business is a testimony to how successful and good she is as a Tarot Reader. She has not stopped. Just adapted readings to do them virtually. Being able to support and help others positively is a life satisfying career.

Website Angela Barker Tarot | Guided By Spirits

Maybe in time again I’ll get better at sales technique. So I stick to what I love and a good at – musical contributions at the shows. Lockdown provided the finances for CD duplication of some of my Earth Tree Healing albums.

Earth Tree Healing Music

Yes a blatant plug here if you want a physical copy via Fenix Flames >>> Music

Ange and Ashley are the sales and business talent and drive for not only Fenix Flames with, but for Earth Tree Healing. A massive gratitude high five. Especially Ash for helping with the CD artwork duplications and bits.

Too many great people and businesses to mention at the show.

So spend some time on https://lizianevents.org

Enormous thanks to Liz and Ian for their continued support and opportunities.

We originally began as visitors to the shows. Through them, we’ve met friends for life, learned lots via the talks, networked, spent lots on nice and esoteric gifts. Established businesses as stall holders thanks to their support. Honoring the memory and creations of Sarah Louise Kay.

Remember if you do anything this week… be kind. I don’t judge what you identify as. People/Aliens to be are beyond a physical presence. It is your soul honey. You can be a celestial megagon sided rainbow non binary with flashing lights, cheesecake as hair, with bum warts that whistle, that is referred to only by thought, if it makes you feel acknowledged important, noticed and nice. If you behave badly, that is what you are remembered as and known as to me.

~ Claudine

Music Links and Kindle Link to my book, ‘Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.’

https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Gong and Pyramid Power

Soul Sunshine and Pilgrimage of Elements

I’d been looking forward to annual leave from my NHS day job for months. We should have been going to Cyprus. (But that certain pandemic put a stop to that!) So on 1st April 2021. We travelled to Mablethorpe on the east coast of middle England and it’s surrounding coast on a Clange road trip – our first visit to the sea in months. It was really cold. On our 10th Handfasting Anniversary. The desolation of pre season pandemic seaside towns, that look like a zombie apocalypse movie set, with an endless sea of empty caravans. Just added to my feelings of bleakness whilst searching for sunshine. But the Nutella doughnuts were good. Video below.

A positive though is that it has enabled us to invest in 7 of my Earth Tree Healing albums duplicated onto CD to sell – via

Fenix Flames website

Taking full advantage of lockdown confinement. I’ve just completed a new ambient album in my home studio called Pilgrimage of Elements. Music Links

Pilgrimage of Elements

What stemmed from seeing a word #Werifesteria on a friends social media post (thanks Don!). ‘Werifesteria’ – verb meaning to wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery.’ This set me off on and exploration without physical boundaries.

Connection to Earth (Werifesteria) Water (Azure Oceans) Fire (Sacred Fire) Air (Anima) and Spirit (Divine Journey)

Tracks are just under 10 mins each. The music is less melodic, more ambient. Very nice to meditate to. The track ‘Sacred Fire’ features a recording of tribal drumming round the fire at a Pagan Tribal Gathering Camp.

This year, as I explore the countryside on new ‘Adventures With Clange.’ I’ll add footage to the music.

Whilst I experience a blissful state composing. Something dark affected me badly last week. It’s been creeping up on me again for a while. I had put it down to exam nerves, relentless working fatigue. Working from home has its ups and downs, but I am very grateful my bosses have kept me safe and workplace has been really supportive with wellbeing for staff. I’m so glad I have Ange to talk to about this stuff. Who really helps sort ‘me’ out.

I have loved being in the company and pestered by our cats Pattie & Rambo (even though we lost Tipsy last year, I was lucky to spend lockdown #1 with her, unknowing at the time she would have to be put to sleep in November. Which broke our hearts. Check out @clangecats on Instagram.

Ange works from home anyway downstairs, so I located myself upstairs. As to not get on each other’s boobage. I’d felt really quite unwell mentally and physically recently. Anxiety was creeping back. Neglect of the basics of wellness is not good for me. I’d talked about it with Ange. She asked if I was still taking my vitamin D? I’d stopped the extra high strength dose a few months ago to have a break, whilst trying different supplements. Well….. there is a lesson again for me, during a winter that I’ve spent shielding indoors. It’s felt really cold and dark. My blissful safe 4 walls has kept me safe and warm. The cross trainer providing exercise. But the 4 walls had begun to make me feel trapped. I craved green trees and blue skies. I kept telling myself all these mind chatter negatives and problems were smaller than I thought. Everything will be and is actually all good.

Constant fatigue, mind fog, generally feeling off, muscle aches, lack of energy.

The lack of the Sun. That wonderful warmth that bursts through clouds to recharge body and soul had been lacking. I’d managed a brief bicycle ride after getting mine serviced. But sat in a bitter cold wind, cursing myself for not braving cold walks outdoors. My whisker biscuit temporarily ruined again, getting used to the saddle! Ouch! My knees sound crunchier than crushing crackling. Self rage. Missed opportunities. But this Lockdown has seen healthier eating habits form and weight loss.

Am I Peri-Menopausal? Something is definitely changing in that department. Being in my mid forties now. Having to get varifocals too. Wow. With that comes hobbies, such as an extreme liking for visiting garden centers and comparing cheese scones. Whilst getting routine medical things back on track (hunt my Cervix for my smear test has been another drama! and that’s another story best served cold graphically with friends and family!!!! – The 3rd medical profession found it! )

I’d tried an apple cider vinegar supplement capsules. (As wanted to to get away from drinking shots.) Unfortunately they constipated me and gave me tummy ache.. Gutted.

So what did I do? That I personally feel helps me.

A morning Matcha tea powder shot (disgusting, swamp like, earthy, green)

I started again on high dose vitamin D, Meditation, a quality Royal Jelly tablet added. (Along with already taking Turmeric and Bee Propolis.)

Reconnected with Reiki – as I do when I meditate.

The blue healing candle on my music altar burned unusually high and brightly. Rambo cat came in the room meowing, woke me with a start, back into the muggle land matrix. Then the smoke alarm went off. Terrifying all in the house!

I had a CIPS (Chartered Institute of Procurement and Supply) exam yesterday at college. A retake, as I’m really not academic my memory is shot. I revise and revise. The experiences of failing exams,(especially nasty when it’s 2% from a pass!) on a subject such as commercial contracting for example – something I neither have personal interest in, nor job experience – is a punch in the fanny. But you get knocked down. The drive to complete, finish the course gets one back up again.. after a pity party, disappointed tutor of course. A change of approach to study time, utilising more resources for the theory understanding. When exam questions seem gibberish, unintelligible – the rot of self doubt, shame, frustration and incompetence creeps in. Then the ‘Claud – you are a creative! Once this qualification is complete. You can fully focus on your bliss again…and have life back…. kicks in. ‘Ange will also remind you how fooking mardy and miserable you have been. I just need to stop trying to fit in, in muggle land. It was never meant to be for me. Can’t talk the talk, or kiss the arses. Lockdown isolation from people has generated an even bigger rethink of ones future. Just got to make it happen. Working for the greater good, sacrifices selfish gain.. I can live with that (Enough rahing on Claud!!! Well Anyway!)

Balancing this – an apprenticeship level 4 Diploma, full time day job work and being a musician/composer. (Violins in background, tiny ones too) Really is a challenge. This year I’ll complete. 2 years later… But better to have done it during a year of lockdown and achieved another qualification for day job work. Having spoken to fellow students and their struggles with this course. I now do not feel as bad and traumatized as before. I need to stop being so harsh with myself. In hindsight. My lack of ability to concentrate had also, I believe been part of my vitamin D deficiency symptoms. On top of my obligatory seasonal SAD issues.

Those that moan of lack of time, motivation or boredom. Get off your arses, do not wine to me! Nothing is free, hard work pays off. It might not be pleasant and will piss you off and tire you out. Procrastinating is non productive. A wasted life is bitter spent. ‘Poor me’ is easy, pro activity pays off, you don’t need to read a fucking self help book to find that one out.

I met and fell in love with ‘Godzilla.’ A tortoise. You hold them like a burger. Listening to his breath, and him kicking me with surprisingly strong legs, has left me filled with a surprisingly huge new found affection. They are going to find him a girlfriend at West Notts College. Love him.

We drove up to The Peak District at the weekend. (Now lockdown rules are relaxing and remaining very careful and socially distancing…. and our use of home lateral flow tests to keep friends and family safe) we’ve both had our first vaccine doses. The AstraZeneca one. Only side effects for both of us was fatigue the next day. (A duvet day helped and lost weekend) If I start growing gills at 50 and mutating…Well at least I’d had had a few good holidays.

Fresh air, amazing views. Beautiful, snowy, great fish and chips.

Castleton Fish and Chips

Clange Video here

So in conclusion. I’m starting to feel much better, sleeping better. That inner and outer wellbeing feeling is returning. The world is not so dark. Spring has sprung pretty blossoms. Looking forward to a summer of safe adventures, even if we cant leave the UK. As ever thank you Ange for putting up with me, loving me and supporting me when I’m a Twunt.

  • Take care, be kind, adventure, be happy – Claudine

In other news: My winter PlayStation gaming is done. Playing Days Gone and The Last of Us 2 have been nightmare winter inducing zombie games. Fortunately neither have turned me into a crazed potential murderer or violent individual.

Not watching the drivel of the doom mongering news, has enabled mind wellness. A pursuit into physical and spiritual wellness follows. More time spent connecting with trees.

Massive thanks to the following YouTube creators for getting us through lockdown after Netflix and The Mandalorian. I’d not chosen to read books, as found my mind was too exhausted studying and I have a tendency to fall asleep, neverminded how riveting. Maybe I’ll try audio books. These are a few of our discoveries and favorites. As well as Friday night virtual foodie adventures exploring the planet virtually and planning our own.

The Endless Adventure The Endless Adventure – YouTube

Yes Theory Yes Theory – YouTube

Else Rhae and Barron Elsa Rhae & Barron – YouTube

Cecelia Blomdahl Cecilia Blomdahl – YouTube

Sailing La Vagabonde Sailing La Vagabonde – YouTube

Casey Neistat CaseyNeistat – YouTube

MrBeast MrBeast – YouTube

The exPAWers the exPAWers – YouTube

Flying The Nest Flying The Nest – YouTube

My Self Reliance My Self Reliance – YouTube

California Through My Lens California Through My Lens – YouTube

Our own Channel – Adventures With Clange Adventures With Clange – YouTube

I promised Ange no
more extreme hair cuts with no more lockdowns

From Relentless to Glastonbury

It is September 2020 already. Yes. We managed to get a holiday. We’ve just returned from time well spent in Glastonbury. After along weekend in Portsmouth visiting family, day in Lyme Regis – lying on the beach, watching (laughing at) the militant seagulls attack and swoop down on unsuspecting small children and adult’s lunches.

The recharge was needed. We both love Somerset and feel very connected to it.

Littlemead – Drinking Mead, Meare, Glastonbury

We have both been fortunate to do a little travelling in ‘Fanny.’ Exploring the rolling big wide open spaces and skies of Lincolnshire have fed us lockdown respite freedom during recent months. We do live opposite a country park with lakes and a river so have been lucky. A few doom curing early morning bike rides have done me good.

Lincolnshire

We’d enjoyed the Summer Solstice sunrise from the river near us.

Hoveringham, River Trent

At least once a year we head to Somerset. We come here to detox not ‘retox.’ So the days spent relaxing, eating vegetarian lunches at Rainbows End Café. (Amazing veggie good food for body and soul) A good clearing was experienced. We both had a fantastic and very needed massage by Ana @ https://www.naturalconnect.co.uk/ (eternally grateful) Puts once back on track, resets.

I found the readjustment back to work and ‘normal’ the following week pretty tough. Ange and I constantly plan our escapes.

There are a few new videos on our Adventures with Clange YouTube playlist.

Adventures With Clange

Musically. Well. No furlough. (For me that would have been a creatively indulgent bliss) But working from home March until September, enabled me to spend that extra time that was commuting, composing music for an 81 track Wu Wei Wisdom Project. The Tao Te Ching. (more of that when its officially announced. Thank you Alex and David for the honour- It has and is a beautiful experience) https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/free-resources-blog/ Some of my music is featured below.

I have a true love for animals. Its very easy to share the horrors of the world on social media. Does it stop people doing bad things? Does it stop nature being nature? Does it make folks become Vegan/ Vegetarian? Maybe (plants have feelings too) Have you been in the presence of an old tree and felt its whispers of wisdom, been in awe of its vastness. I wish I could ‘unsee‘ some of the terrible things this human race has done. Deeply disturbing, cruelty, neglect, abandonment. Even ‘Sam’ the dog in I Am Legend had me crying for hours, Ange had to tell me to stop and pull myself together as was only a film. Supervet is a write off. I love the DODO videos. I focus on the good and try to invest in the recovery or prevention.

If you bombard the darkness, and scribble horrors, the dark will remain with darker scars. Donating to the lightbulb to turn the skies sparkly, enables a positive focus to get things done. Actually doing something realistic, instant and practical to help is far more productive in my opinion, than procrastinating and angering. I unfollow the ranters. We’ve adopted 3 cats, 2 that were abandoned. We love them with all of the love that we are. Fundraising for rescues, even if its a small amount – on the scale of things helps. It goes directly to and for the animals not admin. I feel very protective of the vulnerable. So I’ve completed Wiccaweys Music For Dogs EP. (and some relaxing tunes for their owners too) releases on 10th October 2020. I composed the journey of reassurance, rescue, survival, the heart-warming vulnerability of animals, when they find a forever home, acceptance, love, life and in the end for all living beings.. passing over. The track Sleepy Time has been a favourite and relaxed the dogs and humans. (It has been literally road tested with Wiccaweys with the doggies settling down) ‘Goodbye My Friend’ is poignant and very beautiful. Giving something back to the Angels that rescue and care for animals is something we continue to do. Check out https://wiccaweys.co.uk/

Wiccaweys

And finally. I’m still working on my 2021 new album release. ‘Gods’ It is powerful with Eastern influences.

As 2020 heads in to more lockdowns, waves. Love those physically close. Look after those far away. I’ve not hugged either of my parents since March. Its painful. I’m in my own bubble with Ange with the news switched off. Being kind, selfless and creating good vibes, growing my hair back. Otherwise anxiety would become destructive to my emotional wellbeing.

I’ve also been composing more tunes including podcast music/ intros. https://www.pond5.com/collections/3322994-podcast-music

You can also find stock music to purchase by me available on POND5 https://www.pond5.com/artist/claudinewest?utm_campaign=pyw#1/2064

https://www.pond5.com/collections/2710399-uplifting-relaxing-instrumentals

Then the return to jamming with the band Stinking Rita. Battered shoulder after months of not drumming, but worth it. Check out all of our improvised tracks here.

Stinking Rita

I’m really pleased with music work outputs, as was so exhausted and busy in my NHS work at the start of lockdown.

Keep it happy – Claudine

Wilkins Cider Farm, Somerset 2020