We arrived back to Nottingham last night. After 9 hours navigating traffic jams around the M5 from Boscastle, Cornwall. Bank Holiday madness! We both agreed… next time we will stop over in Glastonbury. Rambo cat woke me at 5am for fuss and to dribble on me in bed.
As I approach my 46th year (May 30th) in this body, in this reality. It’s been a deep journey! I’m hoping the road is much longer.
We’ve spent the last few days. Enjoying wind, rain, sunshine, sunsets. We began in Portsmouth then a road trip through Devon to Newquay, Cornwall.
It was great to see Ange’s parents again after so long. Lateral Flow Tests a go go and the ability to go inside restaurants to eat again. as its been rain rain in the UK in May 2021!
We visited The Sculpture Park in Farnham. There were hundreds! The video below captures just a few. Great day out.
Vlogging and capturing elements of our journey gives us memories and documents some wonderful experiences for Ange and Myself. If you enjoy them, or get inspired…that’s even better!
The 2020/2021 Covid Pandemic UK Lockdown: After an exercise filled start with clear blue skies and good weather lead, like many to ‘Sloth and troff’ behaviours and indulgences. (Or for some drinking and drugging to death) We just ate nice food. I needed a clear head for work. Alcohol just doesn’t help me with stress. My cure is meditation, creativity with music making, travel and good food.
We only scratched the surface of good food eateries in the short time we were in Cornwall. (More in the Adventures with Clange YouTube Videos) A big mention to Fore Street Cafe Bar in Newquay (Postcode Number 38 TR7 1LP) (parking with toilets for 20p is opposite (TR7 1HD) – get there early- Yes bring lots of 20ps and change for parking in Cornwall or set up card payment apps) We enjoyed some exquisite breakfasts and Cinnamon Bun take aways.
Opposite is a bakers that does and amazing Monkey Bread and Pain Au Chocolat at the Pavilion Bakery (37 TR7 1HD)
The Boathouse Charlestown does finger licking amazing crispy Calamari and burgers (Ange says its the best burger she has ever eaten)
A special doughnut (baked in Bude) and good cup of tea at Harbour Light Tea Garden opposite the Witch Museum (PL35 0AG)
A reminder when there is no Land Train! Our walking at The Eden Project (a great day out BTW) was not only painful. But a reminder in the mountain of fitness we both need to climb. Wearing masking in a tropical rainforest biome though… really is swelteringly unpleasant. Video here
Whereas Land’s End was a tourist ‘signpost’ and underwhelming disappointment. (We wecommend The Lizard) A distinct disgusting fishy smell that developed in our car was minging (watch the videos!) Boscastle was magical and intriguing. (We will spend more time in that area on our next visit) The Minack Theater was booked up. So again… next time.
The beaches – especially Fistral Beach, Newquay. Was the tonic to our lockdown ailments. Filming in windy weather, up a cliff was refreshing, invigorating. The negative sea ions cleansed the last year of home pandemic imprisonments.
Filmed on Fistral Beach (in high winds) Music ‘Azure Oceans’ from my new album, Pilgrimage of Elements.
When I am amongst the beauty of nature. I am most alive. When I capture it. To accompany my music. It completes the circle. Performing music live is one of the best feelings.
We enjoyed and captured a beautiful sunset with surfers and beach dwellers too. It reminded me of the hippy vibes, as we sat on Benirrás Beach in Ibiza. Watching the sun go down a few years ago.
In Cornwall – there was space, great food (amazing breakfasts at Fore Street Cafe Bar in Newquay)
Massive thanks to our Airbnb hosts. Good value, lots of cats and really close to the beach.
As we continued our search in Cornwall for the vibes and location to permanently move to… Somerset’s beauty and greenery still beckons. So we aren’t ruling anything out.
I do feel really relaxed after this trip. We always miss our cats when away. We try to fuss every dog about on our trips.
Back to day job work next week.
The Pandemic pressures and events in the NHS for its staff, families and patients have frankly been horrific. It’s lead to a lot of contemplation of what I do and where we go next. To pay the bills. As yes there is a satisfaction of duty that I helped a little bit. There is also no job satisfaction with pressures and feeling helpless shielding, but still working from home during the worst. Now I’m back working on campus. Still feeling like the new girl. With my final module of my CIPS qualification. There is light at the end of the tunnel to fully focus on my passions.
My New Age Album ‘Pilgrimage of Elements’ (Earth Tree Healing) is released August 2021. Lockdown allowed me to embrace more productive time for my creativity and happiness. Whilst also doing more collaborative projects. I’ll be performing acoustically & vibrationally (guitar, hand pan & tongue drums) supporting meditations & community members at Lizian Events Well Being Markets & Pagan Tribal Gathering 2021. Back on the drum kit – Tightening bingo wings with Stinking Rita Band. I’ll also be focussing on my art.
As I lay in the bed uneasy. I knew, felt it, sensed it. Circling our log cabin, slowly. No noise. But it was there. I tried to tell myself it was just owls in the surrounding woods. I lay awake all night in a heightened state of terror.
Earlier that evening. Whilst enjoying a log burner, relaxing evening. I’d suddenly got a rush of dread, demanded that Ange immediately close and lock the patio doors and shut all curtains. Things can’t see in…
Something in the beginnings of that dark night summoned itself scared me deeply.
It has been a September stay in Somerset. With a hot tub, day trip to Lyme Regis, Adventures. We had arrived relieved and excited for a relaxing break.
I’ve always felt and sensed more than some. A curse in some ways. In others a blessing of super feelings. My dreams have always been graphically real, strange. If my passing from this life is as exciting and psychedelic as these and leads me to peace, I have no complaints! Walking through the veil can leave be miffed, disturbed and exhausted upon waking. It also brings fantastic feelings of hope, positivity Guardian Angel reassurance. They present a beautiful feminine and recognised energy to me and visit in differing forms.
When I encounter earth bound recognitions. It’s inspiring, gets me out of fugs and funks. Restores faith in the good souls.
Whatever ‘it’ was, I knew that if it had entered our cabin. If I’d have seen it. I would have been changed forever. I did feel danger physically.
I don’t believe it was just an animal either. I had werewolves and got myself in a right state about it for hours of restless terror.
When I told Ange about it the next morning. She had slept soundly. Putting it down to be de-stressing from work. I felt different and strongly disagreed.
I’ve never forgotten this experience. I would never be brave enough to confront what lurked that night. Apart from that one strange night. We had a wonderful time.
Do I fear dangerous humans? Or the darkness that lurks.
Moonlight, starry skies. The changing from dusk to dawn is magical. Some of formative years were spend sleepless and nocturnal. Working night shifts, walking home to the sunrise and comfort, deepest of sleep and daytime dreams.
The visitations more intense.
Going back ever younger, as a child. One night the multiple voices were chattering. In the room I shared with my Sister, in my head? I recall shouting “Stop!”
I’d sometimes think about skeletons, and feel a deep emptiness.
A curiosity with the great beyond has been present from early childhood.
Whatever gifts we are given. A certain responsibility comes with them.
How much to share before judgements are made? Sharing with the likeminded.
The fascinating mind, thoughts, experiences. Past lives, flashes, Deja vu. Regression, answers lead to acceptance and focus on journeys.
When I moved back to live at my parents, after a ‘lost time’ renting rooms. Or the occasions before that when I’d stayed in my old bedroom.
I’d be asleep, or dozing. Suddenly.. I felt something approaching on the landing. It would enter the room (door closed) go to the end of the bed. Then walk up my legs and sit.
Initially I was silently freaked out. Feeling a physical presence. Not wanting to look in case I saw ‘it.’ Falling asleep and upon waking, telling myself it’s just me dreaming.
But the repetition. This entity didn’t feel bad. It’s felt quite positive. There energy, I can only describe as ‘shimmering.’
Fast forward to Ange and I getting together and embracing our spiritual path.
I mentioned it after another encounter. She instantly said – it’s your Grandads dog. She is looking after your dad.
It was Katie. A Yorkshire Terrier. ( now the size of the physical experience made sense )
I felt relief, emotional. I remember that doggie from childhood.
Ange helps others now with ‘house cleansing.’ If a spirit is causing a problem, it’s ok. Ange helps them into the light. Helps them release ties with this world. Sometimes they are stranded, stubborn, or just don’t realise they are dead. Scared to face the music after things they have done whilst alive..
When I was in the folk band ‘The Idolins’ we had met in a pub beer garden. A few drinks later. I was conversing with friend about some difficulties he was experiencing. It took a strange and frightening turn of events. I suddenly felt tight chested. Like something suddenly grabbed me. It felt like claws digging in. Freaking out I shouted Ange. She ‘saw it.’ Grabbed it and removed it.
I could breathe again. A dark entity? Soul, Demon? That when I realised Ange’s true abilities with these things. Some of the people there found it funny, sniggering. Spoke volumes to me.
Another realisation in life- when hanging about the wrong sorts – for me, not fitting in. Thinking all along, it’s my social insecurities. When all along – it’s just incompatibility. Being around genuine spiritual folk makes me far more comfortable. At that time I was opening up . My energies were open…. Maybe too open, when made me vulnerable to an attempted attachment of something. A lesson for me… it took a while… years.
Even though I’m very open about myself and beliefs. I thrive in good compatible company. It makes it so much easier to understand why I struggle so much in muggleland. The escape plan is very real… and enjoyable.
Whatever doors, a jar, fully opened. I think are part of my gifts. My creativity cannot be capped off, put away. It only bursts out with a happy vengeance. This is why the channeling of music is not only self therapy. But a life’s work. Maybe angels, others are speaking through my fingers. As like I’ve said before. I have very few memories of performing. The ‘trance’ is blissful. The result recorded sounds wonderful to me. I don’t question it. I just go with it with gratitude.
There was a flat we lived in Basford. A previous relationship and girlfriend that also saw dead people. My Grandma Ivy ( I think ) … a blond woman sat regularly at the end of our bed often. Something terrifying, claustrophobic lurked there, it was a very unhealthy place that made me ill – as well as the damp. my girlfriend moved out. My mum ended up
kicking off with the estate agents. Before I moved to a house. I ended up getting dumped, truly heart broken and went through a messy time, a lonely time, a self destructive time. From this.. getting dragged into other peoples dramas… has done me no good in life. The older I get. The effects and mental drain get worse. Even though I have a bursting desire to genuinely help others. I have to walk away and shut off. I’m not a councillor or therapist. Practice of Reiki, music, thrashing the cross trainer, good food and meditation. The love of Ange, our pets, family, good friends… Adventures and spiritual positive living help me.
I may have an active imagination. But I pick up ‘vibes.’ I just have a radar of highly attuned sensitivity to some things. Whilst switching off to a lot of what I feel – mundane day to day stuff.
Then there was the happenings at flat at Bestwood Park….the chains….ancient burial grounds….. when I woke and saw him.
Big high five to the weirdos, the unaccepted, the folks on your spirituality journeys. It’s a hell of a ride.
Being amongst your tribe is endearing. Having been an outsider, the difficult misunderstood angry, sulky and strange middle child, Lesbian, 5 feet 11″ tall, needing corrective facial surgery for a deformity at 19 years old. More tomboy than girlie girl. Never have and never will fit in. (maybe in another life for the shits and giggles?) Some elements society have not been kind in this one. Social, emotional coping at times is hard, continues. We are the creation of our genetics, Soul Journey, experiences, past lives and environments. My compensation for this has always been the gift musical and artistic talent. The ability to become the hermit and nomad wannabe – with the travel (Escape from ‘Muggletown’) Out of it all. I acknowledge what causes me stress and anxiety, work on how to make that better. Still piss Ange off – my Lady love of life and drive her up the walls and to despair at times. But we have more fun than domestics. (Ange do a pie chart if you want to argue!) P.S. total grammatical correctness eludes me.
On a side thought… you know when you wake up and the whole bedroom smells of fart, was it me, was it Ange? Was it both? As teamwork makes the dream work.
By no means do I music envy major financial success and fame. If I have enough to be comfortable and pay the bills. I’m blessed. The interbred in-crowd bum chums self back patting is not for me. Put me in a room of strangers and ask me to network, talk ‘the’ talk. You simply put me in a nightmare. A face that never fitted even after surgery is fine by me. Focus on creation of ones art and music, and making that good, inspired, energy that flows from somewhere of beautiful connection. Put me in a room of like minded spiritual folk and it all becomes a hell of a lot easier.
On the note of escape. Neither of us pretend to want to remain in Nottingham. We want out. It is time to move on. If I had the opportunity tomorrow. I’d pack my knickers and the cats and go! Ange and I, with a serendipitous worlds colliding discussion over the weekend, lightbulb moments, (Bamboo style salt lamp for us – Thanks Dathan!) of another Ange and synchronicity thrown in. Hope and happiness, opportunities of a better future. Our goal and dream is to live on, work on and open to likeminded souls, the Earth Tree Retreat. We’ve looked at Somerset, Lincolnshire, Wales, Canada, Portugal, other countries. Planning permission is challenging. Money needs to be manifested. We are prepared to start off in our caravan in a field.
But Cornwall… Yes Cornwall! Small seeds, big ideas. Wild flower fields. Practical business beginnings….. Guitars…..Art 😉
The mere mention of the ins and outs of human interaction and imposed restrictions, mask wearing and social distancing. Debating the corrupt shit show that the present procrastinating UK Government is….= Sleaze, cronyism, lobbying, PPE procurement scandals… Shameful, disappointing but not surprising. Greed over life and well being. It goes on and on… Karma, Karma, Karma. The Agarthians, Greys, Reptilians, Tall Whites, must be face planting until it makes a sucky slapping sound…. unless of course…
For all of the arguments, conspiracies, fact, fiction, propaganda, manipulation and opinion. I work in the NHS. I chose that career ‘day job’ because I wanted to help serve patients, poorly people, do something good. It’s not easy, stressful at times. But I’m grateful of the opportunities given. The choice in life to sloth, do nothing with it, receive benefits, ‘poor me’ for ‘poor me’s’ sake or…drum roll… work hard, train, get education, create and embrace opportunities and contribute. Is far more satisfying to me personally. (Disclaimer for the people with real genuine needs) – excluding the fakers, ‘can’t cook, as don’t need to cook, when its all offered on a plate.’ ‘Can do but won’t do.’ Lazy ones whose own worlds apparently owe them something. Now I know some of you cherubs think you have had it hard. There is always someone worse off. It’s not all about you.
On a serious note though. If you are struggling, do seek help. It’s very easy to give advice, rather than deal with your own problems. There is mostly a solution to things. We’ve been given the greatest gift of life adventures. Wasting it, as it’s sometimes far too short, is a regret once you take that peek back from the big sky. Don’t let the bastards get you down either.
We sets me off? PMT, dark winters, work stress. (For however much longer I stay in the NHS very much depends on my experiences in the next 6 months) Keeping topped up with Spiritual practices, meditation/Reiki, exercise, fruit and veg, music, vitamin D and a few good supplements helps my moods immensely. Joy vacuums are best avoided. I have a great faith and strength in the fact that everything is OK. The folk who drag me into their problems, every single time I see them.. it’s a drain. It’s an absolute pleasure when I spend time fun. I was discussing the other day about that rollercoaster some of us experience with people. Sometimes the ones that you look up to, get inspired, learn from massively let themselves and you down with bad actions and behaviours. I’ve found. Sometimes people are in your life for a time, not forever for a reason. It’s an interesting journey. Never lose hope. Not everyone is a fooking wanker! But…. I’m never surprised at the barrage of moaners that are not prepared to stand up and take productive action with their issues. Bitterness and Ego are a recipe for disaster.
Here you go: the advice from 1000 self help books. In a world where the only one that can truly help you once guided (if needed) is actually (newsflash) you. A place where its easier to say rather than do. Denial is a disease. It’s sitting on a bench, looking at a crappy view of a wall, letting pigeons shit on your head.
I also don’t fancy getting a nasty virus so am being extra careful. The End. Well anyway….
During a UK pandemic lockdown easing and happening of our first Well Being Market in April 2021. So, the weekend 24th & 25th April 2021. Our first wellbeing Show, post lockdown easing. Ange and I were very excited. Hardly slept… a negative Lateral Flow Test later. Nostril ticking, throat gag reflex.
Having kept sensible and safe and possibly very lucky too – (this is not a blame game for those who decide to superspread Covid Juice, possibly to vulnerable others, who possibly don’t have super human love and light immune systems.. with their own beliefs)
Just maybe if the dictatorial ‘influencers’ and the spreaders of doom and gloom, hate could maybe be more influential to their social media readers. If they actually just posted positive stuff, ideas, inspiration, their very own fabulous experiences… Hey Ho kidlets …. I see, read, terrible things that humans do. Humans = Kingdom of cock nuggets! Conspiracies – some scary, some hilarious, some food for thought, some poorly evidenced. I’m glad Netflix saved me from reading some of the shite spouted.
2 UK lockdowns later. Our first vaccination done. I’ve not mutated into a reptilian yet. But have cookies, 50p and a Mars bar, organic produce and Tena Lady on hand if needed.
It all is given to Angela Barker if I clog pop (Will is written) and please do help animals.
We had both arrived at the very well ventilated, helping prevent others being on ventilators venue in Newark, Nottinghamshire! Lizian Events Well Being Market. Reassured with completed with negative Lateral Flow tests, followed up with Negative results after the show (Yes a responsible thing to do, yes nothing is 100%) yes there is a YouTube video for just about everything.
I’ve got some underlying health box tickers. I am also mostly responsible for my lifestyle choices, past and present dear health Gurus. I don’t like lurgy of any kind at the best of times or having the shits. So, even though only space suits and ‘no one can hear you scream’ territory are possibly better protection. A medical mask, not a cloth fashion statement…. whilst wandering amongst population may offer some protection from covid/other spatter juice. If someone spat in your face. Would you rather be wearing a mask, or open your mouth and accept the full on phlegm monster is coming? Your choice. I still remember poor Sue on checkouts at Tesco, who was the correct small height for customers sneezing literally directly in her face. A job I suffered in and was always ill in. = Touching money, close public contact, viruses. Glad I left. Some good memories of some fun folks and times though. Lots of bad memories of dick heads (staff and customers) and abuse. Glad I got out, grew up, learned a few harsh lessons and became a better person.
So…I spent the weekend, mainly outside playing my hand pan & tongue drums. Supporting Taiji, with Dr Don & Carol Harradine. ‘Dance of Life.’
Alan Wood (Native American Traditions) Sage Cleansing Ceremony. Angela Barker – Fenix Flames Guided Meditations. (I took my acoustic guitar. I’ll wait until the June Show for more performing)
I’d kicked off the weekend vibrationally with The Pyramid Lady – Gong Sound Therapy by Richard Hissitt. I had a session. Solfeggio tuned metal healing pipes.
Whilst in session I experienced pulsing waves of purple, angelic wings, a feeling of heat, safety, alignment with the Universe. Afterwards, pain relied in my knees, well being, relaxation.
Even though I’ve worked with sound and vibrations most of my life. I was a gong bath virgin until a few years ago. Now I’m an addict. I’ve encountered other worldly beings and bliss. If you’ve not tried one. I can only but recommend.
Music has kept me occupied, satisfied, and accomplished during this hell of a strange 12 Months. Freedom in Pandemic Prison. The meditation escape. Fabulous darlings.
The weekend was a success. Great community spirit. I’m trying to work my way round talking to the exhibitors show by show, to get to know them and what they do. Such a treat after shielding through what has been a long dark winter.
I have my CD’s now for sale. I’m not a sales woman. 18 years of abuse and personal insecurities working in retail. That damage imprint is lasting. Sometime small children take one look at me and their faces say ‘what are you?’ Bob 2? I put the ones that don’t get or connect with me off with Claud vibes.. It grips Anges shit! Can’t talk the talk. Leave it to Ange, best way. She is focusing on her businesses Fenix Flames/Publishing & Angela Barker Tarot. Here business and financial survival (not through the governments grants through lockdown as being newly self employed was entitled to nothing. We sleep better knowing we did not vote them in) Survival through the Lockdowns and thriving business is a testimony to how successful and good she is as a Tarot Reader. She has not stopped. Just adapted readings to do them virtually. Being able to support and help others positively is a life satisfying career.
Maybe in time again I’ll get better at sales technique. So I stick to what I love and a good at – musical contributions at the shows. Lockdown provided the finances for CD duplication of some of my Earth Tree Healing albums.
Yes a blatant plug here if you want a physical copy via Fenix Flames >>>Music
Ange and Ashley are the sales and business talent and drive for not only Fenix Flames with, but for Earth Tree Healing. A massive gratitude high five. Especially Ash for helping with the CD artwork duplications and bits.
Too many great people and businesses to mention at the show.
Enormous thanks to Liz and Ian for their continued support and opportunities.
We originally began as visitors to the shows. Through them, we’ve met friends for life, learned lots via the talks, networked, spent lots on nice and esoteric gifts. Established businesses as stall holders thanks to their support. Honoring the memory and creations of Sarah Louise Kay.
Remember if you do anything this week… be kind. I don’t judge what you identify as. People/Aliens to be are beyond a physical presence. It is your soul honey. You can be a celestial megagon sided rainbow non binary with flashing lights, cheesecake as hair, with bum warts that whistle, that is referred to only by thought, if it makes you feel acknowledged important, noticed and nice. If you behave badly, that is what you are remembered as and known as to me.
Music Links and Kindle Link to my book, ‘Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.’
I’d been looking forward to annual leave from my NHS day job for months. We should have been going to Cyprus. (But that certain pandemic put a stop to that!) So on 1st April 2021. We travelled to Mablethorpe on the east coast of middle England and it’s surrounding coast on a Clange road trip – our first visit to the sea in months. It was really cold. On our 10th Handfasting Anniversary. The desolation of pre season pandemic seaside towns, that look like a zombie apocalypse movie set, with an endless sea of empty caravans. Just added to my feelings of bleakness whilst searching for sunshine. But the Nutella doughnuts were good. Video below.
A positive though is that it has enabled us to invest in 7 of my Earth Tree Healing albums duplicated onto CD to sell – via
Taking full advantage of lockdown confinement. I’ve just completed a new ambient album in my home studio called Pilgrimage of Elements. Music Links
What stemmed from seeing a word #Werifesteria on a friends social media post (thanks Don!). ‘Werifesteria’ – verb meaning to wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery.’ This set me off on and exploration without physical boundaries.
Connection to Earth (Werifesteria) Water (Azure Oceans) Fire (Sacred Fire) Air (Anima) and Spirit (Divine Journey)
Tracks are just under 10 mins each. The music is less melodic, more ambient. Very nice to meditate to. The track ‘Sacred Fire’ features a recording of tribal drumming round the fire at a Pagan Tribal Gathering Camp.
This year, as I explore the countryside on new ‘Adventures With Clange.’ I’ll add footage to the music.
Whilst I experience a blissful state composing. Something dark affected me badly last week. It’s been creeping up on me again for a while. I had put it down to exam nerves, relentless working fatigue. Working from home has its ups and downs, but I am very grateful my bosses have kept me safe and workplace has been really supportive with wellbeing for staff. I’m so glad I have Ange to talk to about this stuff. Who really helps sort ‘me’ out.
I have loved being in the company and pestered by our cats Pattie & Rambo (even though we lost Tipsy last year, I was lucky to spend lockdown #1 with her, unknowing at the time she would have to be put to sleep in November. Which broke our hearts. Check out @clangecats on Instagram.
Ange works from home anyway downstairs, so I located myself upstairs. As to not get on each other’s boobage. I’d felt really quite unwell mentally and physically recently. Anxiety was creeping back. Neglect of the basics of wellness is not good for me. I’d talked about it with Ange. She asked if I was still taking my vitamin D? I’d stopped the extra high strength dose a few months ago to have a break, whilst trying different supplements. Well….. there is a lesson again for me, during a winter that I’ve spent shielding indoors. It’s felt really cold and dark. My blissful safe 4 walls has kept me safe and warm. The cross trainer providing exercise. But the 4 walls had begun to make me feel trapped. I craved green trees and blue skies. I kept telling myself all these mind chatter negatives and problems were smaller than I thought. Everything will be and is actually all good.
Constant fatigue, mind fog, generally feeling off, muscle aches, lack of energy.
The lack of the Sun. That wonderful warmth that bursts through clouds to recharge body and soul had been lacking. I’d managed a brief bicycle ride after getting mine serviced. But sat in a bitter cold wind, cursing myself for not braving cold walks outdoors. My whisker biscuit temporarily ruined again, getting used to the saddle! Ouch! My knees sound crunchier than crushing crackling. Self rage. Missed opportunities. But this Lockdown has seen healthier eating habits form and weight loss.
Am I Peri-Menopausal? Something is definitely changing in that department. Being in my mid forties now. Having to get varifocals too. Wow. With that comes hobbies, such as an extreme liking for visiting garden centers and comparing cheese scones. Whilst getting routine medical things back on track (hunt my Cervix for my smear test has been another drama! and that’s another story best served cold graphically with friends and family!!!! – The 3rd medical profession found it! )
I’d tried an apple cider vinegar supplement capsules. (As wanted to to get away from drinking shots.) Unfortunately they constipated me and gave me tummy ache.. Gutted.
So what did I do? That I personally feel helps me.
I started again on high dose vitamin D, Meditation, a quality Royal Jelly tablet added. (Along with already taking Turmeric and Bee Propolis.)
Reconnected with Reiki – as I do when I meditate.
The blue healing candle on my music altar burned unusually high and brightly. Rambo cat came in the room meowing, woke me with a start, back into the muggle land matrix. Then the smoke alarm went off. Terrifying all in the house!
I had a CIPS (Chartered Institute of Procurement and Supply) exam yesterday at college. A retake, as I’m really not academic my memory is shot. I revise and revise. The experiences of failing exams,(especially nasty when it’s 2% from a pass!) on a subject such as commercial contracting for example – something I neither have personal interest in, nor job experience – is a punch in the fanny. But you get knocked down. The drive to complete, finish the course gets one back up again.. after a pity party, disappointed tutor of course. A change of approach to study time, utilising more resources for the theory understanding. When exam questions seem gibberish, unintelligible – the rot of self doubt, shame, frustration and incompetence creeps in. Then the ‘Claud – you are a creative! Once this qualification is complete. You can fully focus on your bliss again…and have life back…. kicks in. ‘Ange will also remind you how fooking mardy and miserable you have been. I just need to stop trying to fit in, in muggle land. It was never meant to be for me. Can’t talk the talk, or kiss the arses. Lockdown isolation from people has generated an even bigger rethink of ones future. Just got to make it happen. Working for the greater good, sacrifices selfish gain.. I can live with that (Enough rahing on Claud!!! Well Anyway!)
Balancing this – an apprenticeship level 4 Diploma, full time day job work and being a musician/composer. (Violins in background, tiny ones too) Really is a challenge. This year I’ll complete. 2 years later… But better to have done it during a year of lockdown and achieved another qualification for day job work. Having spoken to fellow students and their struggles with this course. I now do not feel as bad and traumatized as before. I need to stop being so harsh with myself. In hindsight. My lack of ability to concentrate had also, I believe been part of my vitamin D deficiency symptoms. On top of my obligatory seasonal SAD issues.
Those that moan of lack of time, motivation or boredom. Get off your arses, do not wine to me! Nothing is free, hard work pays off. It might not be pleasant and will piss you off and tire you out. Procrastinating is non productive. A wasted life is bitter spent. ‘Poor me’ is easy, pro activity pays off, you don’t need to read a fucking self help book to find that one out.
I met and fell in love with ‘Godzilla.’ A tortoise. You hold them like a burger. Listening to his breath, and him kicking me with surprisingly strong legs, has left me filled with a surprisingly huge new found affection. They are going to find him a girlfriend at West Notts College. Love him.
We drove up to The Peak District at the weekend. (Now lockdown rules are relaxing and remaining very careful and socially distancing…. and our use of home lateral flow tests to keep friends and family safe) we’ve both had our first vaccine doses. The AstraZeneca one. Only side effects for both of us was fatigue the next day. (A duvet day helped and lost weekend) If I start growing gills at 50 and mutating…Well at least I’d had had a few good holidays.
Fresh air, amazing views. Beautiful, snowy, great fish and chips.
Clange Video here
So in conclusion. I’m starting to feel much better, sleeping better. That inner and outer wellbeing feeling is returning. The world is not so dark. Spring has sprung pretty blossoms. Looking forward to a summer of safe adventures, even if we cant leave the UK. As ever thank you Ange for putting up with me, loving me and supporting me when I’m a Twunt.
Take care, be kind, adventure, be happy – Claudine
In other news: My winter PlayStation gaming is done. Playing Days Gone and The Last of Us 2 have been nightmare winter inducing zombie games. Fortunately neither have turned me into a crazed potential murderer or violent individual.
Not watching the drivel of the doom mongering news, has enabled mind wellness. A pursuit into physical and spiritual wellness follows. More time spent connecting with trees.
Massive thanks to the following YouTube creators for getting us through lockdown after Netflix and The Mandalorian. I’d not chosen to read books, as found my mind was too exhausted studying and I have a tendency to fall asleep, neverminded how riveting. Maybe I’ll try audio books. These are a few of our discoveries and favorites. As well as Friday night virtual foodie adventures exploring the planet virtually and planning our own.
It is September 2020 already. Yes. We managed to get a holiday. We’ve just returned from time well spent in Glastonbury. After along weekend in Portsmouth visiting family, day in Lyme Regis – lying on the beach, watching (laughing at) the militant seagulls attack and swoop down on unsuspecting small children and adult’s lunches.
The recharge was needed. We both love Somerset and feel very connected to it.
We have both been fortunate to do a little travelling in ‘Fanny.’ Exploring the rolling big wide open spaces and skies of Lincolnshire have fed us lockdown respite freedom during recent months. We do live opposite a country park with lakes and a river so have been lucky. A few doom curing early morning bike rides have done me good.
We’d enjoyed the Summer Solstice sunrise from the river near us.
At least once a year we head to Somerset. We come here to detox not ‘retox.’ So the days spent relaxing, eating vegetarian lunches at Rainbows End Café. (Amazing veggie good food for body and soul) A good clearing was experienced. We both had a fantastic and very needed massage by Ana @ https://www.naturalconnect.co.uk/ (eternally grateful) Puts once back on track, resets.
I found the readjustment back to work and ‘normal’ the following week pretty tough. Ange and I constantly plan our escapes.
There are a few new videos on our Adventures with Clange YouTube playlist.
Musically. Well. No furlough. (For me that would have been a creatively indulgent bliss) But working from home March until September, enabled me to spend that extra time that was commuting, composing music for an 81 track Wu Wei Wisdom Project. The Tao Te Ching. (more of that when its officially announced. Thank you Alex and David for the honour- It has and is a beautiful experience) https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/free-resources-blog/ Some of my music is featured below.
I have a true love for animals. Its very easy to share the horrors of the world on social media. Does it stop people doing bad things? Does it stop nature being nature? Does it make folks become Vegan/ Vegetarian? Maybe (plants have feelings too) Have you been in the presence of an old tree and felt its whispers of wisdom, been in awe of its vastness. I wish I could ‘unsee‘ some of the terrible things this human race has done. Deeply disturbing, cruelty, neglect, abandonment. Even ‘Sam’ the dog in I Am Legend had me crying for hours, Ange had to tell me to stop and pull myself together as was only a film. Supervet is a write off. I love the DODO videos. I focus on the good and try to invest in the recovery or prevention.
If you bombard the darkness, and scribble horrors, the dark will remain with darker scars. Donating to the lightbulb to turn the skies sparkly, enables a positive focus to get things done. Actually doing something realistic, instant and practical to help is far more productive in my opinion, than procrastinating and angering. I unfollow the ranters. We’ve adopted 3 cats, 2 that were abandoned. We love them with all of the love that we are. Fundraising for rescues, even if its a small amount – on the scale of things helps. It goes directly to and for the animals not admin. I feel very protective of the vulnerable. So I’ve completed Wiccaweys Music For Dogs EP. (and some relaxing tunes for their owners too) releases on 10th October 2020. I composed the journey of reassurance, rescue, survival, the heart-warming vulnerability of animals, when they find a forever home, acceptance, love, life and in the end for all living beings.. passing over. The track Sleepy Time has been a favourite and relaxed the dogs and humans. (It has been literally road tested with Wiccaweys with the doggies settling down) ‘Goodbye My Friend’ is poignant and very beautiful. Giving something back to the Angels that rescue and care for animals is something we continue to do. Check out https://wiccaweys.co.uk/
And finally. I’m still working on my 2021 new album release. ‘Gods’ It is powerful with Eastern influences.
As 2020 heads in to more lockdowns, waves. Love those physically close. Look after those far away. I’ve not hugged either of my parents since March. Its painful. I’m in my own bubble with Ange with the news switched off. Being kind, selfless and creating good vibes, growing my hair back. Otherwise anxiety would become destructive to my emotional wellbeing.
Today’s podcast takes the listener to America. You will listen to Angela’s – Claudine’s and Ian’s anecdotes of travelling in America. Of course there will be laughs a’plenty during the hour conversation: Go to: Texas SanFrancisco Hot Springs And New Orleans Listen to the Podcast: More About Claudine Earth Tree Healing Multi-instrumentalist/Composer Claudine West… via Random […]
LizianEvents News Podcasts are becoming known for diversity and free-flowing thought. Is this the reason they have a Worldwide following? Could Be! One certainty is the recordings will continue. 40 more words
Indie Road Movie is a new instrumental album by Claudine West. Released 1st February 2020. 15 tracks for road journeys. Upbeat. Electronic, Raw. In between recording relaxing meditation music as Earth Tree Healing. I’ve enjoyed playing with loops and keyboards in my home studio. Part of my work as a musician and composer is writing, looping, experimenting to accompany visuals. 2019 was spent adding music to Pond5 stock music library.
Music has spoken more for me than words. I don’t feel the need to rant at the moment, to tell you all something you already know. An opinion you agree or disagree with. I wanted to quieten my chatter and speak through vibrations. 2019 was a time of loss, of not looking after ‘me’ very well. Very much locking myself away in studio to indulge. This is always a good thing. But I neglected getting out into nature, just walking, breathing in the sky. We travelled a lot which has been where the concept for Indie Road Movie came from. Music for exploration. A rhythm for the road. I’ve been working on tracks for over a year in between the other Earth Tree Healing albums. Maybe it’s a guilty pleasure. I get a bit of a ‘foot tappety tap, slap your flip flops round someones face and then embrace them vibe.’ I get the I need to escape from where I’m at right now vibe and travel to quench the thirst of the impulse to run. This is by no means my relationship. Its about us both feeling the need to go and explore.
Last night on New Years Eve 2019. I attended a Gong Bath. I’ve been ill with a bug for a few days. Stuck at home, Riding my horsey called ‘Biscuit’ about on Red Dead Redemption 2. Realising I simply cannot catch the white wild horse near the lake and giving up in a weakened rage. Time to disappear somewhat, meditate and eat more greens.
Being on my spiritual path, meeting like minded souls is educational. Being amongst good vibes is comforting. But…I still have to humanly address idiotic bad behaviours and actions. I don’t tolerate or stomach: bullies, liars, selfish, negative draining behaviours/people or folk that rip you off. They have no place in my world and get uninvited to sharing a path with me. Gut wrenching instincts are best acknowledged.
I didn’t have issue with Notts/Derby band Strange Currencies. 3 months ago I left on a positive note after their last gig of the year, ensuring they weren’t left without a drummer, then had winter to comfortably recruit and rehearse. But…. Seeing as co-written songs are being fraudulently ripped off. It is time to spill… Sit back, relax.
2019 was a time for change and moving on. I’d suffered a frustrating year spent hoping, in a band that stagnated. A band that did not go into studio to get the tracks recorded professionally to realise the full potential. Not through lack of trying to encourage it to happen. No EP or album release of music that reflected the music that band performed live. (Certainly a barrier was 1 member of the band didn’t want to pay for it)
We’d demoed tracks and recorded them in a rehearsal room. Now the newly named band #ROE releasing them under new titles. Well… well…as a co songwriter and them being PRS registered… well!
I left Strange Currencies as there was no more progression for me. The fun was slowly sucked out of any final bit of enthusiasm by the end of 2018. Reason? One individual continued to shat on the shoreline. – Let us say for examples: unsavory behaviours, moods, bitch fits, lying (a particular pork pie that was excruciating, was telling the audience that we had supported Foo Fighters) being ungrateful at all of the free lifts, taking his shit out on our band manager and trying to hide that from the rest of the band. The attempts at manipulation were pathetic. A power struggle over control, being creepy. What part of ‘I’m a lesbian in a happy relationship’ that was not understood? I highly suspect their behaviours were historical too in previous bands and will sadly occur in the future. Fortunately not by problem to witness anymore and it is blissful.
Having no understanding of how much effort you have to put in on social media (which I spent a lot of time on) or the advantages of releasing ones music on Spotify, iTunes etc to get your music out there. Being a very depressive shadow in my band life – which in turn affected me personally, that I no longer wanted to be around. Even getting pissed up wasn’t fun last year. For the final 6 months, I’d sit in rehearsals not wanting to be there, pretending, hoping things would get better. I amicably announced my departure at the last gig for them, The D.H. Lawrence Festival. September 2019.
Working with new people had been giving me the buzz. I was busy with other projects. I decided after much humming and harring to step away as my heart was no longer in it. Band death had occurred for me. (Newsflash: When musicians leave bands, it’s mostly because they don’t want to be in them anymore – ‘end of’ chuckle chump) it really doesn’t matter if I left to watch paint dry, save the planet, invent a new flavour, get stoned with Reptillians. I’ve gone. It is what it is buttercup. I don’t remember being under any contractually binding obligations to stick with.
Was it a dick move to discuss what comes next? Well when someone rips off your music that is PRS registered and songwriting. It’s bloody rude! What kind of uneducated numpy would do such a twattish activity…. Well readers… read on….
Here is an example kids – of how not to behave. Unsurprisingly as soon as ‘said individual’ was dropped off home by myself and band manager.. So began ‘you left us for another band assumption’ deletions, (& us being blocked on FB. We high fived!)
All the video song titles from the Facebook page got mysteriously removed. It seems evidentially that songwriters rights are being disrespected and infringed here! When they could just have used the original song titles and let me know, as asked when and where they were played live, so I could claim performance royalties. Very poor activities and complete lack of honesty and integrity from a band. I can understand you were upset at your loss and are completely oblivious to your own distasteful ways. Bibble boo boo. Said individual had also taken over the Facebook page (with my blessing to carry on SC), changed it to the new band name, and even duplicated it. (Double bubble for your fans, whoop!) Individual then requested I ‘like’ their page again. ‘Fuck off sunshine no thanks!’ Alas, Strange Currencies split up after their final gig of 2019. A shame, as I wished them the best to carry on the music and reputation they were building, (I’d find it very odd them now trying to get new gigs off the back of the music from a band that no longer exists) – WELL ANYWAY… AHEM, gold watch cough up. Like I said, I had asked for them to just to let me know when they performed the songs live (so I could claim PRS performance royalties for the ones I’d co written)
But alas they appear to be renaming the songs I co wrote, in a strikingly fraudulent attempt to claim them as the new bands. I expected as much disappointingly. It’s like renaming ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ as a new arrangement and claiming it to be your own! – please also note it was me drumming on the Rules of engagement ‘single’ releases. #PPL