Only Human After All

It’s now February 2021.

I had the Oxford jabsy vaccination yesterday.

It’s 5am. Our cat Rambo is pestering me in bed, and being a pesky annoyance harassing us for the last few nights lots…in his springtime excitement

My arm is hurting. Otherwise – feeling pretty good so far. Bar lethargic today and needed an afternoon kip.

I received a shielding letter yesterday – even though I’ve been very safe, careful and home working for the majority of the pandemic. I have some box ticking underlying health conditions. (Which I’m working on to improve, with support from my health providers)

Yes sometimes in moments my worse fears have been present. To my knowledge I haven’t had COVID or needed to test for it. But for all I know maybe I have? I’ve had the odd few days in the last year of feeling a bit rough, some sinus headaches, weather changes and a nasty UTI when Tipsy our cat got ill and put to sleep.

All those other viruses did not just go away. Bar getting it from the local cob shop. We’ve been pretty lucky when ‘super spreading’ has been allegedly rife everywhere.

We had a good virtual catch up via Zoom with friends last night. Netflix binge watching recommendations were plentiful. Along with a hilarious sleepwalking ‘checkout operator’ In bed story. Involving the contents of bedside cabinet being scanned into ‘under the covers.’ The realisation that nearly a year of this has gone by. Reminiscent recalls of those old times of hugs, holidays and socialising in the flesh. Wow! Facebook memory lane!

Watched a really funny film ‘Booksmart.’ Our sense of humour too.

With an easing of lockdown in the UK on the horizon. We are accepting – this year will, in many ways be restricted with movement and interaction with loved ones. This thing can’t last forever… well we will see!

Making the most of a crazy circumstance been the enabler for us : A productive working from home regime with the many facets of what we do.

Indeed opportunities knocked, were manifested and embraced. Adapt and conquer, or don’t.

With an improved and growing international reach of my Music. Ange’s businesses in the world of Tarot, book publishing, herbs, oils & candles are thriving.

Survival – financially, physically, practically and emotionally was the goal from lockdown 1. Yes we did it.

Be in no doubt, we have had our ‘moments.’ Some domestic arguments, irritated each other at times.

But perseverance and positive thinking remains the dominant thing. Days job stresses are my main trigger, followed by the approach to perimenopausal beginnings. Yes some low days. (See previous blog) But mainly good and productive days.

From the start of lockdown 1. I made a promise to myself to be productive with my passion – music. An album ‘GODS’ some enriching and ongoing collaborative work. I’m now working on a new album Goddess 2 for 2022. Let us not forget, the release of our live, raw improvised album via Stinking Rita band – Live From Studio Five (recorded in between lockdown restrictions last year in a rehearsal studio)

Spare time from full time day jobsy in the NHS & studying for a CIPS qualification is spent musically. (Bar killing a few zombie hoards on the PlayStation) it has become a productive Groundhog Day.

Leisure time is spent holidaying and exploring otherworldly interests and posting cooking videos via YouTube.

After a brief cold spell. We are venturing out locally for nature walks- the cross trainer has been my winter mode of good sweats.

Ange & I have indeed become weary and frustrated of our lack of freedom to travel – but have been good girls with the imposed ‘rules.’ The long dark winter months are never a favourite time of the year. Switching off the horrors, speculations of the media and reading books, listening to podcasts has been the way for me to distract from the shite of what we are presented with.

Disconnection has been healthy for me – as am not a social butterfly. Becoming even less so over the years. Keeping good friends close and everyone else at a distance virtually is good for me. Yes you can see my activities and sharings, (a record of memories for Clange)

I don’t look much at what others are up to, which in some ways is disconnecting.

In our home environment – we are de cluttering slowly. Filling every wall space left in the house with wall tapestries. Mystical additions to salt lamps with mellow lighting has improved our surroundings and limited space.

I did have a very busy and in some ways shitty dark January- good riddance you sticky stinky arsehole with fleas and piles!

Even my sad lamp stuttered. But a Gousto delivered meals regime of some very nice food, cooked live on Facebook & YouTube 4 nights a week by Ange is like eating out, at home.

https://youtube.com/channel/UCPQcD0P6MHFET1ksQ0XT2fA

Whilst not costing us the earth. Our food waste has definitely declined. It’s just the extra cardboard packaging. (That we recycle)

This new, free from supermarket visits life is great. Once a month, a staple goods online delivery. Weekly fresh food from Gousto & our farm shop. Has saved time & money for us.

We have enjoyed some weekend takeaway deliveries from ‘Filthy Vegan.’ A monster kebab with hot sauce!

As a regime of gradual and healthy weight loss fills us with wellbeing. (the odd blip week when the scales just say – “slightly disappointed, but don’t give up- if you don’t order naughty snacks – you can’t eat them bitches.”

Lessons… progress. Positive habit changes.

Ange did a lovely thing the other day. We are both very aware that others are not as fortunate as us. We are by no means wealthy with money. We are abundant and grateful of everything else.

We had a good month. So Ange went out and bought and donated some staple food stuffs (and a cake for the volunteers) who are providing cheap and free cooked meals at a local community centre.

Whilst also supporting animal charities, which we continue to do. It’s nice to not be selfish.

A big high five to those of you that have fund raised for good causes, volunteered, done your bit and philanthropists. Paying it forward feels good.

We were talking last night about how judgemental and dictatorial some folk have become… these post notification social media keyboard warriors, self professed experts ‘Ranting Twats’ in their chosen field of being fucking obnoxious and entitled. Yep.. we’ve all seen it and cringed, unfollowed, un friended. Not that this virtual reality of social media ‘friendships’ truly fills the void of human to human interaction.

The path to Dystopian nightmares in gaining traction. With technological distraction.

Ban your mobile phone for an hour and focus on the physical… wow… therapy for the addicts.

Weaned off the loneliness of virtual reality… now that is an impossible task for some.

I remember 10p in a phone box was the thing when I was a kid.

How times have changed.

Along with living amongst potholes, bodge jobs with no longevity of the fix, (as there is no money, a lot of wasted money in a failed energy company too. Why, when you are not experts or the monopoly in that field even attempt it!) – have a looksie too at Denmark’s plastic recycled roads. Oh and really bad inconsiderate drivers are everywhere, road hogging cyclists and a city that needs some TLC when it opens up again. I have visions of cities in the Walking Dead!

Then, there are the ones, that are able to articulate sensibly their opinions and have a decent debate, when these things differ from others. I prefer them.

Ange and I are intrigued by some Nordic areas and ways of life and are planning a visit.

We have been encouraged by ideas, proposals and support the Nottingham Green Quarter group, Nottingham Cohousing & Good Food Partneship. https://www.facebook.com/groups/nottinghamgreenquarter/?ref=share

I’m not a fan of the greyness and unsustainable greed of cities.

Ethical and sustainable approaches in business and living is paramount to our future.

Even though Ange and I are craving travel and road trips. (And are adventuring in food atm) Planning and researching is fun and fills us with excitement. Most importantly – hope.

Nearly a year of Pandemic (for whatever the real truths are around this thing) has left us restricted, grieving, struggling at times, but mainly resilient, productive and resourceful. Some have not opted for that route. I’ve interacted and listened with people who have experienced isolation, fear, rejection, mental health issues and it’s really is a sad thing.

Anxiety (I’ve had some worrying episodes) is the controlling mystery monster that never truly explains why when it exits its hole! But techniques, meditation, Reiki, reassurance, talking about it, has helped me combat that dark, bleak, empty, terrifying, panic entity in my mind.

There is also that elephant in my rooms of subconscious. The dreaming. An ocean of visual delights, horrors, strange need. My brain, soul, past lives are creating a murmuration of a party in my pants. I experience life times during those REM sleeps. The weird, the re digested is put into Claud’s mixing bowl of night movies and spat out. Recently hanging out with Tom Cruise (nothing sexual, even for a lesbian)

I don’t journal my dreams. I’ve already sought and found my mission and messages in the life (by no means does this mean I’m a complete enlightened being yet) I am cracking on with that journey. With the downs and ups that brings.

I’m now focussing on the beautiful awakenings of spring, walks by the river, blossom, the freshening of air.

The lilley pads in the lake. Those still moments of joy and breathing. Nature connection. The big wide sky. A little bit of tree hugging harmed no one and no thing.

As always – making music saved and saves me from an apocalypse in mind, soul and body parts. I can wrap myself up in it, never mind what is outside my creative cocoon.

Sobriety (mostly I have an unpleasant after effect of feeling depressed from drinking. Tea and a clearer head, has been the better version of me for a number of years) and spirituality is the path my twenty something I was weary of and uneducated in. This is now my (lot better) reality.

These thinking early woke hours, spent manifesting good things. Along with lesser times chewing over the bad and forcing myself free of those voices and frustrations. A mindfulness exorcism is something needed. Or a pep talk along the lines of ‘sort your shit out!’

Good days and bad days exist.

But…. the future, as well as the present should be embraced with all the positivity the world can muster. Survival and wellbeing. I’m sure there will be lots with a whole bucket list of regrets in hindsight, who did not invent or embrace opportunities, but dwell and place blame. Effort is sometime painful, exhausting. When I’ve failed an exam. I studied harder, sacrificed more free leisure time and retook to gain a distinction. Pleased? Accomplished? Hell yes!

But even with successes and failures. The effort of doing and trying is very rewarding. I much more enjoy the journeys than indulging the end results. As soon as one journey is finished, I don’t want to remain still, but embark on another.

With a daily routine of gratitude and appreciating loved ones and all that extra time with our cats. We journey on in this….adventure.

I am only human here…. after all. (Please excuse typos.. you get the gust)

My music links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Rambo #hurtstits
Rambo #hurtsboobies

Podcast – Adventures With Clange

Some of you may or may not be enlightened, entertained, horrified by our new Podcast. The life behind the music.

LAUNCHED 2020. ADVENTURES WITH CLANGE WAFFLE ON.

SPOTIFY 

IMG_7572

Episode 1

Clange talking rubbish on our first podcast. https://anchor.fm/clange/episodes/Clanges-1st-Podcast-eae32d

Spotify Link

From Where I Sit

When synchronicity slaps your loo loo. With syncopated rhythms. You glide into sounds of silent screams and dreams and avocado wellbeing. You are your own reflection. So reflect wisely. There are the people you will meet in your life that help you, give you the wisdom of mankind that only a true life lived soul can discuss. There are the lazy arsed vampires and bum chumps that collide and collude, can’t look you in the eye. By their own body language alone and behaviours, emit their own guilt. Whether you walk a well trodden path and blurt out ‘Baa’ or struggle through sunken sands with the storm in your eyes. The rollercoaster of life hits yer hard at times. 
With the sometimes curse I am blessed with. I see you, I sense you, I feel you. I am you. I sometimes sit well in darkness. Most of the time I am bliss. The tortured blessed. The more I indulge in my calling. Those moments of happiness expand to days. 

When true clarity is so blurred in this microscopic society. Where the hunter is hunted. Zen moments are pursued by the enlightened and seekers. 

In Your World. Your ocean and the chop balance upon this flat Earth. You share with a maelstrom. It sucks you down.. underneath. Looking up into a southern metallic blue sky. You realise. It’s all over. What did I do while I was here? 

I sit amongst and am surrounded by the unity, vibrational orgasms… that create a band. The laughter, the sweat, the thrill, the chaos, the calm, the comedown. The only motive in every second of performance is to make the best music you can. 


The ego, the struggle, the muggles, the wants, the insecurity, the genius, disagreements. The family, festivals, rum, whisky, bottled water, broken strings, sticks, pulled muscles. 
Extreme adrenaline. The rush. The crush. My muses, the losers. This journey is beyond an entertaining adventure. It’s so much more. I feel white noise for the ones that live in shadows. I embrace the light from the inspiring beings that ride on the rug that was your magic carpet. 

Then we have the aliens and the truths… the comedy, the mood swings. I go back to who is your muse? You are surrounded by energy. Embrace. 

Those moments, that you share only in you. That make or break at sunrise and travel alone into dusk. 

After all.. when the dust settles. Where were you? 

– Claudine

LOVE

LISTEN http://hyperurl.co/ef3qxg

Mantaray

Surrounded by storm sea surges, snow sprinklings and a panic winter press sensationalism. I’ve sat in my little music cave Claudsville Studios. With some instrumental ‘rumpy pumpy’ the first of my new born kids being dropped off at the pool is Mantaray. This embryonic adventure into haunting piano and loops, Fender guitar expelling mellow cries into the night air for alternative progression on this track. With recording equipment situated on my old Reiki treatment couch (for the vibes) I sat in the glow of a salt lamp with a Crassula Ovata (money plant) for company, while the love of my life slept in the next room. As she stirred in slumber, she believed she was sweet dreaming, listening to my early morning vocal take yawns, harmonies and lyric editing as I progressed. With an oceanic theme around rescue. The song explores the burden of love. A song that arouses from the deep blue ocean then grabs souls with its undertow. This track is number 1 of a new solo album in progress. I’ll add each song as they unfold. Under the Stephen Fry inspired working title of ‘Babbling Merchant of Drivel’ progress is inspired in a Rue Morgue kind of way.

I’m currently in the middle of recording Strange Currencies album ‘Making Monsters’ So it a very musically indulgent time. Pretty darn cool actually.  I’ve spent the last 2 evening sessions suffering low mood and  red light fever recording the acoustic guitar parts for ‘Stay Down Kid.’ My one take wonders rule left me for dust! With cats jumping all over the studio during takes, and sore fingers. I’m hoping next weeks session will tell a different story. Luckily the swearing flowed like warm pee then the boiling hormonal blood ran free and with a little assistance from some garnet gemstone in my shorts pocket. I kind of nailed it last night. We had recorded a live version to work to. PP Johnson liked his live vocals. So as I’ve just D.I.’d the acoustic. I’ve had to overdub it and mic my trusty ‘Taylor’ up.  A song that has been played loads live with my eyes closed… Well.. maybe I should have swapped mugs of tea and vitamin water for Rum. But I think its kind of there ready for mix and master. As this album evolves.. getting the right balance of ballad, funky, poptarty, dirty, distorted and hints of country. Even though I know it will work out great in the end. I learn Logic Pro X as I go. The January blues will depart and be looked upon kindly as a productive time in the darkness.

 So here it is by Claudine West

Lyrics

Whispers on the waves of silence
I sensed the love in buoyance
In the eye of a hurricane
Our ship sails for America
A vortex where the renegade goes
This riptide rides the ebb and flow Chorus Jettison flames
This cargo is killing me
Mantaray
Set me free Verse 2
Those that inspire me, desire me
I’m certain of the dance
Lethal switchblades and urban food chains  Bridge
The world lights up and jettisons
The embers burned you, 
The embers burned you, 
The embers burned you, 

Chorus

Verse 3 
I buried myself in the Earth
To seek what it was worth
I carried strength and faith around
Buried scars and saviours
I quit the bad behaviours
I stopped this drowning before it took you down

Released January 9, 2017
Written, performed and recorded by Claudine West 2017

 

Fly On The Magic Carpet Of Good Vibrations 2017

Welcome to the flood…When the molten core of a sublime energy is explored. With the energy that flows through a conduit from Heaven and Earth. Bliss…and …well being create a beautiful sky of oranges, blues, purples. That Zen moment when worlds collide. The physical and metaphysical, emotional and spiritual. When one exists in peace, safety, purity and decisive thought. No longer a traveller along the rivers of blood that the world created many seasons ago. In a time before a time. With a trigger of recognition and fortitude. The formative years flash forward into a rainbow of light. Do you now sink back and become the absorbed kin that always was? Feel comfort and gratitude for the visions that present themselves. Or fly on the magic carpet of good vibrations? Where it’s a happening or a happened. Enjoy, deal and deliver yourself. Sometimes you don’t need pictures, you just need sounds. You are the audience to yourself.

I channelled Ki Energy last night. I lit my salt lamps up and treated a friend to a Reiki Session. (I had begun channelling before I studied Reiki techniques) I’d not practised in a while- well only during the writing and recording process. It felt great. I wrote the music I made for this kind of adventure. Last night I put them both together and road tested. Track ‘Raphael’s Healing’ definitely did the trick as I worked on her Chakras. It’s a raise in key as well as vibrations.

Bit of Trivia: The beginning of ‘Ariel’ there is a clip of owls in the woods. I recorded this one night on my phone when we were staying in a log cabin in Somerset this year. (We travelled around Dorset and Devon exploring) 

Angels are always invited and assist.  In 2016 I released the albums ‘Citadel’ and ‘Archangel Divination.’ It’s been a creative journey. Under ‘Earth Tree Healing.’ 2017 will see the release on digital stores of the Guided Meditation album ‘The Journey’ featuring Sally Wathen at Rainbow Bridge.

Then ‘Archangel Divination 2’

Close your eyes, open your heart and mind and listen.

Reverbnation

https://www.reverbnation.com/claudinewest/album/145442-archangel-divination-2-earth-tree

You can find clips and the tracks via the following links.

http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1170718321?ls=1&app=itunes

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01M9HD7VU

https://open.spotify.com/album/2lT0ZFThvSalfnILdn3ftL

Soundcloud

https://soundcloud.com/claudsville

Bandcamp

https://bogwoppit.bandcamp.com/

Watch on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI3tl0wcmczmBHImB0YQN3Q

– Claudine