We were travelling at night in the rain through Sherwood Forest Country. The skyline glowed with the orange city lights. Eerie. The flooded roads, as dark as addiction in denial, manipulation failures and that empty bitterness of self pitying rejection for some. Opportunity knocks for all of us when we travel along the road of hope, good omens and vision. Friday night the Harvest Moon had shone brightly. Enlightened and changing times. Synchronicity and gratitude always. You all know who you are.
It’s all been positively busy the last month. Shutting one door when it came to the end of the road felt like a demon lifted from my soul. Diplomacy from my part. The escape. The casualties of departures that didn’t take advantage of opportunities lie bitter in ignoreland. With various projects on the go. I’m excited going into the autumn. Beautiful rustic colors. a nip in the air.
Last weekend. (14th & 15th September) I performed 4 sets of my Earth Tree Healing music at Newark Showground, Lizian Events Well Being Show. In the sunny garden. Tired out from a busy working no duvet days off for a while. Reinvigorated in the sunshine and creatively. My tools of communication = my instruments. Again, I am grateful meeting intriguing, spiritual folks. Fluke loop pedals, reptilians, crop circles, the Brexit pantomime….Belonging is a feeling I cherish. (Being one of the non fitter inners in the world.) Thank you Liz and Ian and the community for opportunities.
Reiki practice and meditation is helping a chilled out Claud with a positive, strong mindset.
Sometimes I create my best works when I feel vulnerable, at a loss with life. My escape into Claudsville, into rapture. Music is my Panacea. I’ve struggle at times with depressive episodes. If I don’t look after myself. If sustained stress encapsulates me, I fight but eventually crumble into a desert wilderness. Low mood, the fog, hopelessness surrounded me in 2018..many many months.
A sustained draining and soul destroying circumstances bled me to the brink. I’d put on the acting face of ‘everything is ok.’ Eventually my health and wellbeing became cake left out in the rain. Deterioration lead to the inevitable health, emotional and mental health issues. I’d gotten quite poorly so took time out to heal. I didn’t want to lose my relationship or sanity.
Cycling round the lake. Being amongst the beauty of the trees. Meditation, and music making. Months later.. week by week. I began to feel like myself again. It became a very private withdrawn time. Talking about it did not help. My recuperation plan worked. My Lesson: Never let the day job damage and drain me to the walk to the edge of a chasm and dip my toes in the despair. When the sunshine gets shut out during a heatwave, it’s time to swim upon the tides of the moon.
The experience I am grateful of… As I will never have to suffer it again. I won’t allow it to happen again. I let myself down and others by not being fully honest with myself and allowing the harm and anger to take hold. We are all accountable for our actions. Humans can be selfish. Some don’t care about the ripples in the water they create, that build up to tidal waves. Life lessons are there to teach us. In some ways I’m far too sensitive to exist in this maddening world. Put an empath in a tunnel of pain and observe the carnage.
I found Zen creating this album. This infinite and connection to Goddesses.
There were days when I’d call upon a particular Goddess. But a different one appeared. The music poured, oh how it eloquently poured out. It was like lying on snow looking up to the sky. With every detail of snowflakes tinted with rainbows. My breathing returned after being stifled. The warmth embraced and travelled beyond the timeless gentle deeper dark of my meditations. The connection to Earth, Trees.. the healing of the skies. The composing became a cycle of daily therapy. It energised. It comforted. I indulged in sunsets and horizons. It made my world more alright.
The Triple Goddess, The Maiden, The Mother, The Crone )0( I sought Goddess of the hunt, Artemis in the wilderness. Under a magical moon I meditated to Selene. At the crossroads I asked for guidance and protection from Hecate. I became one with the Earth in the woods and the sky with Mother Earth, Gaia. In my darkest times I reached for the sea and asked for the return of feelings and love from Aphrodite. I retreated into meditations often in the Goddess Temple. Protector of Cats, Bast… Our 3 cats were very much part of recording this. I enjoyed further inspiration, music and creativity with Cerridwen. I called upon Morrigan, Goddess of war and fate. To help me endure my battles within. Healing came from The Celtic Goddess of Fire, Brigid, which I have also honoured with my track Imbolc from my album 8 SabbatsAthena gave me direction and taught me how to better cope. We drove around Snowdonia under blue skies to her sounds. Asking for assistance from LakshmiGoddess of abundance. We lit candles in the dark. Helping us see the way and what we have to do for the self sustained life we aim for. When you dance with death, there is the liberation of rebirth and Motherly love. I thank Kali. The 14th and final track in this album is Dance Of The Goddess. It comes from Blood Moon We end this journey with honouring and free movement and expression of dance for all. New beginnings…
Breath in the awe-inspiring. Recharge by the sea. Be well, indulge, connect, ask, sleep well.