My Mum Died: Mother – an album of beautiful dedication

There are no words that can fully describe the sudden loss of my mum on March 25th 2022, aged 69. I’ve always dreaded the eventual loss off a parent. I’m not here to discuss the details of her passing. Just to say that to us it was unexpected and sudden. For my Mum, I think she knew things were going wrong long before she was admitted to hospital. As a family – we had been planning her coming out, not knowing what was about to occur leading up to her time of death 12.17pm. Whist I have comfort in my oven beliefs of the great beyond. It currently doesn’t make things any easier. Maybe in time……

Grief is tidal. In time, it can recede and leave us with feelings of peace and advancement, only for it to wash back in with all its crushing hopelessness and sorrow. Back and forth it goes, but with each retreating drift of despair, we are left a little stronger, more resilient, more essential and better at our new life.” – Nick Cave

That day I had been sat outside for a break enjoying the sunshine and cherry blossom tree at work. Mum had already died by then. I got a phone text from my Brother to call my Dad urgently at 4pm. Just as I was finishing work. From that moment on. My world collapsed. (My mum escaped Covid. But complications from having type 1 Diabetes as a teenager had taken its toll….)

Shock, disbelief, imaginings. The incessant replaying of my imaginary version of events in the hospital room she died. My Dads breaking.. utter, complete devastation, anger, not knowing why. I chose not to see her. But remember her in better times. I’d seen her the Sunday before she was admitted into hospital and spoke to her on the phone there Wednesday before. We had a pretty positive conversation, she seemed hopeful to be discharged the following week…That was not meant to be. is preparedness for a death easier than a sudden death, or is watching the decline and often suffering worse? (We have finally got the post mortem results, which have helped explain things)

I’ve never cried so much, never felt so lost. I continue to have moments where I question life and what the point is, my own mortality and health. Even though I’m a practicing spiritual being and very imperfect. The older I get the more I focus on our happiness and health. As wealth, and possessions matter little to the dead. Making memories, experiences and doing some good in the world being me great contentment and purpose.

At the age of 46, I lost the option to hug my Mummy physically. I miss that energy and pure love. I took 2 months off work to process, exist, work through exhaustion, support my Dad. I’m eternally grateful of friends, neighbours, the well being community for all of their kind words, actions and support. Its really has and is helping.

My mum was a card carrying Olympic gold medal winner of worrying. (I wish she had not absorbed and obsessed the news so much and focussed on happier things.) She was mad as a box of frogs, very eccentric and extremely set in her ways, had extremely sensitive hearing, where noise really bothered her. Never listened to a word we told her with ‘our news,’ we just got a ‘Well anyway!’ We often had disagreements and differing opinions. But she was also very kind and generous, would do anything for people. She was my mummy. We will miss going round for her buffet spreads and her stories of her elastic snapping and her skirt falling down in B&Q carpark. Then to hold it up all the way round shopping, only to tell my Dad later. The last few years were restrictive with visits, mum getting out and us keeping them safe, due to the Pandemic. In some ways, from what she said, she thought there would never been a return to normality with it all. In some of her last writings/ instructions, she said to visit her and ‘tell her our news..’ well we can now without interruptions! There was also an emphasis about us all being good humans and looking after each other.

She brought me into this world to experience it, that wonderful precious gift of life and hands for music making. All 3 of us children has been very poorly at birth, but thankfully we all survived. She told us she was pleased she had been here for some of our milestone birthdays. But had hinted she may not be here for her 70th. She loved her collection of over 1000’s Teddy Bears, her garden, nature and their cat ‘Mew.’ My parents were married 51 years. Together for a bit longer. Mum hated social media, so I was ‘banned’ by her from posting videos/ photos of her. Meaning I never got as much footage as I would have liked.

In the darkness of my grief. I began creating music. Dedicating it to Motherhood, loss and her memory. We had to wait a month for her natural burial at Tithe Green – a beautiful, peaceful place, where a cherry tree will be planted on her grave later this year, at the next plantings. (and a non religious insistence from mum in her final instructions) I played one of the tracks ‘Mother’ as she was interred. Along with her favourite Local Hero music by Mark Knopfler ‘Wild Theme’ and ‘Whistle Theme.’ (Also played on what would have been her 70th birthday on June 20th) by her grave, surrounded by her family.

Some things I never discussed with my Mum, Some things I just could not. But my music communicates all I need to say to her and about her. It has been an emotional journey. Crying in my home studio, creating this. Its also been healing. Whilst One never truly gets over loss and death, you learn to live with it. Initially I spoke I feared I’d never be able to feel joy again. It is all part of the steps of grief. there is no exact timetable and order to it. Even now something will set me off. I changed my next of kin contacts to remove my mum yesterday and it set me off crying. Going in a shop and seeing something she would have liked as a gift, or a flowery dress. There is an emptiness that comes with loss of a loved parent. When it first happened, I kept crying out ‘I want my mummy.’ As if the child of me and in me reawakened.

Watch my music and memories below.

Track listing: Album ‘Mother’ (Released later in 2022)

  1. Mother
  2. Womb
  3. Born
  4. Lullabye
  5. Butterflies and Bees
  6. Red Poppy
  7. Our Love is Undying
  8. The Cherry Tree
  9. The Garden
  10. Teddy Bear
  11. In Spirit

We’ve had messages, signs she is about in spirit and is ok. This gives me peace. My Dad is our main focus now, in supporting him and helping him in his twilight years. Cherish every moment, every day and spend quality time with your loved ones…… I take every days as it comes, work on myself, maintain my mental health, diving more into life changes, moving house, booking things to look forwards to. Good food, fresh air, forests. As much as I can Meditation and Reiki practice. Our new home we are moving to in August, is already known to me literally as ‘Healing House.’ We made the decision to move a while ago and began readying ourselves by de-junking and packing boxes. Seeing our new house and confirming its a definite goer was a good thing. I’ve discussed mortality with my Dad. plus our want to buy land and go and live a simple life. The escape from society can be achieved. Escaping from oneself, ones fears and issues is not so easy. I tried to escape and leave it all behind for a few days and short break in Somerset. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. It followed me with a vengeance. Dealing and fronting up to all of this, is a hard slog. A massive thank you to Ange, my wifey. I have put her through a lot of shit and upset. She has helped us all so much. Ange – I love you so much. xxxx

Ange told me the moment my mum passed, my Grandma (her mum) was waiting to take her. My Mum was never a believer in anything spiritual, ghosts, afterlife and had abandoned any previous Religious beliefs (Due to the horrors of the world-‘What God would allow so much suffering etc) I always said to her, she would find out it was all real one day. Now she has! She is fine, we are all not so fine. I’ve been given messages and information from a trusted Psychic reader (separately from Ange) that no one else would know. Which is really reassuring, comforting and interesting.

I’d gone upstairs, in the room that my mum used to do her jigsaws in. Not been in there for months at Dads. The clock on the wall had stopped dead at 12.17 (the time of death) I’d shouted down to my dad about this and checked that my brother and sister had not altered it. He said that clock had stopped the year before, mum had asked him to change the battery and he had not…..

Mum has been around a lot in my dreams lately. This brings comfort and upset as I miss her. I’ve talked to many people about loss. My loss is not comparable to yours, as we all experience different journeys with it. But kind of all join that ‘club.’

We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world–the company of those who have known suffering.” Helen Keller

There are people with far more tragic losses with their given circumstances. But it does in a good way, feel nice to help others with my own experiences. As positive things can come out of all of this too.

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross​

Julie West (mum)

You can watch the ‘Adventures with Clange’ moving house bitch fits and series here

There is also my own talking therapy Claud Vlogs:

My Dad ‘Face Timed’ me today. He has had a good day. Makes me happy.

GODS Nominated Best New Age Album

My Earth Tree Healing album GODS has been nominated for best new age album! 2021 Album Awards | One World Music Radio. https://www.oneworldmusicradio.com/2021-album-awards

https://www.oneworldmusicradio.com/2021-album-awards

Unexpected! I’m made up about it. I love good surprises. This album was composed and recorded during the lockdowns. It gave me strength, distraction and for me, has some powerful invocation music for honouring.

Music Links

https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

~Claudine

Reverie (Meditation) Single

With dreams of flying, meditations on my egg chair, surrounded by brilliant vibrations and the things, people and animals I love with all of my being. Single Reverie (Meditation) by Earth Tree Healing is a relaxing 7 minute ambient 432Hz soundscape. It’s available to stream, add to your playlists and download for digital stores.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Enjoy – Claudine

Pilgrimage of Elements

Album Pilgrimage of Elements by Earth Tree Healing released on 29th August 2021.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Track listing 1. Werifesteria 2. Divine Journey 3. Azure Oceans 4. Anima 5. Pilgrimage of Elements 6. Agartha 7. Sacred Fire 8. Azure Oceans (Riptide Mix)

This album is an exploration of ambient soundscapes. Most of the track are over 9 minutes long. It has been my escape form the darkness into the womb. Into safety… Recorded during the 2020/2021 lockdown when the mood and need for escape to meditational landscapes took hold. Even upon returning to work from working from home, I’ve played it. Its a comforting partner, accompanying me now I’ve embraced creating new oil paintings after a few very busy years of day job and qualification studies, oh and that pandemic too.

When we were ‘allowed out’ finding remote places to explore and wander. Whilst it was hard missing family and friends in person. The need for peaceful visual countryside experiences, void of crowds has never left me.

The definition of my life – Werifesteriato wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery.’ I’m always searching. I find it in my dreams and meditations. Seeking it as the human experience on this planet is ongoing. The Divine Journey that my healing room/music home studio/art studio and garden which has partly wilded itself the last year has been a tiny paradise.

We had not travelled abroad with trips cancelled and postponed until 2022. We did manage a trip to Cornwall, UK. Sitting watching the waves crash on Fistral Beach in Newquay. Re energised my very being. It was just beautiful. Cool vibes.

Agartha has intrigued me as after switching the news off. I’d watch lots of travel videos on YouTube. I’ve further explored outer worlds, inner worlds, ancient myths, facts and speculations.

Sacred Fire was built around tribal drumming recorded on my iPhone at a Pagan Festival – Pagan Tribal Gathering. Twice now cancelled due to the pandemic. I now have a brand new portaloo and solar shower sat in my garden shed waiting to be used or ready for an apocalypse.

The last track is my surf inspired remix of Azure Oceans. I hope it brings mellow vibes and cosmic journeys to all who listen. I find it accompanied my album ‘They Architect The Stars’ well.

  • Claudine (Earth Tree Healing)

The Triple Goddess

Honouring Maiden, Mother and Crone aligning with phases of the moon. The Triple Deities that are worshipped as one in various belief systems. Bit of info to peruse here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_deity here https://wiccaliving.com/wiccan-triple-goddess/ and here https://www.encyclopedia.com/religion/legal-and-political-magazines/triple-goddess

I just finished the album – Goddess 2. Pretty pleased as I’m ahead in album composition and recording in my home studio – which has been my lockdown sanctuary and a hub of productivity. As well as the ambient ‘Pilgrimage of Elements’ releasing at the end of August 2021. I’m all set for Goddess 2.

My Track ‘The Triple Goddess’ musically entertains 3 sections to represent each part.

Vlog and music clips here: (restricted mode)

I’ve rearranged the album track order, to begin the journey with a more haunting, ethereal feel. As there area a few upbeat and melodic tracks.

Whilst my Altar worships the Goddess and her forms. I also wanted to accompany my popular track ‘Goddess Temple’ with The Triple Goddess.

Album Goddess 2 will be released 2022.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Creating a Crystal Guitar. Energy Art – Claudine West

Creating art is an exquisite experience. To release colour, shapes, visions, abstracts into surfaces, objects is something that I’ve enjoyed from childhood. Our home is filled with it. Alas it’s time to progress and create more to sell for more collectors to enjoy. I can’t take it with me when I pop my Clogs… and only my Vlogs and music remain. 

I do love the solitude and mindfulness experienced with creation. Claudine West Art link

Therapy for all the damage ‘normality’ does. 

Time to not glance at the horrors of the news, the manipulations of facts, the speculations and opinions that only lead to dark thoughts and times. 

My clouds are colourful. As my hands age… each second.. each moment. I make the most of my every day dexterity. I choose legacy and bliss. Thank the power of Specsavers for Varifocals in ones mid 40’s! 

My latest work in progress: 

Creating a Crystal Guitar. Energy Art – Claudine West – Video.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Fantastic Vibrations and Sound Therapy

It’s been a vibrational weekend. You know when you get that tired, but buzzing you can’t sleep before or after.. Then Monday happens FFS.

We participated at the LizianEvents Newark Well Being Market 10th & 11th July 2021. I have a table with my music on at the shows. I’m not a saleswoman. The thought of it gives me inner and outer turmoil. So please do talk all things musical with me and I’m relaxed. Ange deals with business, negotiation and money. I’ve afforded CD duplication runs some of my Earth Tree Healing albums, for hard copy seekers of independent artist relaxation, meditation and melody – positives to a pandemic and not going out or on many Adventures With Clange (Our YouTube Vlog) in 2020/2021. It truly is an honour when I connect with people who already have some and enjoy the music I channel. Success to me is others finding and benefitting from my finger dribblings.

Financial gains are reinvested in instruments, music releases. I have a full time challenging at times and pandemics day job within the Supply Chain, Procurement function, (without adequate pay rises for over a decade!) In the NHS. As well as Ange’s relentless hard work 7 days a week as a self employed bird running 3 businesses. That affords our bills, rent and a few treats and adventures.. Plus extra satisfaction that I’m doing my bit for helping patients. I’d previously walked away from 18 years in retail – As could no longer bear the abuse, whining and violence from the general public, rubbish hours and rubbish pay. Being non stop in employment from the age of 16. It has been a slog. Times I haven’t coped, needed time outs…Motivations, ambition and trying every day gets us one step closer. Pity parties, well… happen but get dealt with. But now is time to focus on futures. This journey is great.

Before Ange and I became patrons of these shows. I’d been a bit cynical about having ‘therapies’ especially with the people about in a big venue. Housing a mind that wanders and chatters more than the easy morning birds. I meditate at home in solitude…Music is my meditation too. Well until the cats realise and head butt the healing room door miaowing – thinking I’m dead! I’m also quite new to sound therapies. I’ve been committed to creating my own vibrations musically for 30 years. I’d not really explored it. Now friends, I confess…I’m a true convert and addict. If you haven’t tried it, what have you to lose? You may discover something that releases, balances, journeys and opens up something truly amazing.

Now we are full blown participants. Ange focusing fully with selling magical herbal incense, handmade candles etc with Fenix Flames and the book publishing side. She did used to do Tarot Readings at the events. But is busy enough doing it as her ‘day job’ from home, and wants to focus on building the Fenix Flames business. When people come in asking, ‘where are the witches?’ it’s an honour. Ange loves doing talks and demonstrations. Genuinely helping others with their paths. Making money with integrity business is one thing. Being affordable and accessible is paramount. But there is also a responsibility for others and doing things the right way without greed or jealousy. A customer and client has a choice. There are enough for all.

Fenix Flames

We connect with community members. I now do a ‘Tongue Drum’ accompaniment with Alan Wood’s Native American Traditions and Saging Ceremonies outside the venue at the events. Which are now followed by a Guided Meditation by Ange and live sounds my me outside (weather permitting) Ange and I are planning to record some new Earth Tree Healing guided meditation CD’s off the back of great feedback. I also play the Tongue Drum for Don and Carol Harradine’s Taiji demonstrations and Qigong. We have built lasting friendships with this community. It’s one big family.

Even though Ange and I have Bitch Fit domestics, when I’ve spent all my show ‘pocket money’ on treatments and ask for more £. :-0 A treat! I purchased some Orgonite Pyramids from Mysical Messengers which are a stunning addition to our healing room and home studio.

Saturday: Before kick off of the event. A gong bath by Richard Hissitt who I’ve also commissioned to build me solfeggio tubes (used for healing) Every time I embark on a gong bath spiritual journey. It involves other worldly visions, a great feeling of out of body departure and relaxation. I remember looking up in my minds eye to a blue sky above the purple haze and seeing a mothership in the clouds. Very UFO related. A subject I actively enjoy. I’ve very excited for future ventures with Richard, Norma and Luna.

Sunday: Congeries of Sound Therapy. The show before this… Intrigue and Iza Moon convinced me to try. Eyes closed. Breathing calmer. As the frantic mind chatter subsided. The pulsating shapes and colours came. A psychic lava lamp. Brilliant light. A rush of the purest fresh air… breathing. A clearance. When I’m the presence of masters, archangels..The presence of God. The energies are strong. The journey to my true self is underway. I’m still struggling to speak my full truth. As the day job and study blocks send my mind chatter into crazy. The fear of letting go and fully embracing my creativity is a struggle beyond previous addictions. The advice and truths given were absolute, not offensive and perfect. Each session different in tone, instrument, therapeutic act. There are moments when I wish I’d pressed record. The Rav Vast Drum played a hauntingly soul encapsulating melody. Darren channels his guides. I’m now saving up for one – patience Claud, the wait is worth the reward! My latest (as I invest all back into it and album renewals on Tunecore for my Earth Tree Healing digital releases) music royalties are currently tied up in releasing my new album ‘Pilgrimage of Elements.’ I’m trying not to sound like ‘Braggy McBragville from Bragland’ stating I really enjoyed composing, recording and listening to this album. Its proper chill. I love it. It kept the darkness from the door during the last year I tell thee!

The song and tone is beautiful. Thank you Darren. Congeries of Sound Discussing Shamanic Healing and the joy of sound therapy. Iza also had just bought one, after experiencing treatments from Darren too. We will all be going to ‘Rav Vast drums’ Addicts Anonymous soon!

Here is a video of me performing at this event. (I’ve asked advice from Mr Timothy and a really good iphone mic is also on my shopping list to buy)

My path is clearer. Synchronicities.. Please so help me by listening to my music and sharing. Getting out there to more listeners really does pay me to invest in making more music.

Music Links https://linktr.ee/earthtreehealing

Again huge thanks to Liz, Ian and the community. Without. We would not have been given this opportunity to grow and connect.

  • Claudine
  • PS Ange #2 aka (Little Ange) took a photo on the way to the Sunday show. She zoomed in on an orb in the sky… I enhanced it as black. Any ideas?
Top left orb

??? WTF ???

Cornwall With Clange and Vlogs 2021

We arrived back to Nottingham last night. After 9 hours navigating traffic jams around the M5 from Boscastle, Cornwall. Bank Holiday madness! We both agreed… next time we will stop over in Glastonbury. Rambo cat woke me at 5am for fuss and to dribble on me in bed.

As I approach my 46th year (May 30th) in this body, in this reality. It’s been a deep journey! I’m hoping the road is much longer.

We’ve spent the last few days. Enjoying wind, rain, sunshine, sunsets. We began in Portsmouth then a road trip through Devon to Newquay, Cornwall.

Southsea Beach, Portsmouth (Where the stink began)

It was great to see Ange’s parents again after so long. Lateral Flow Tests a go go and the ability to go inside restaurants to eat again. as its been rain rain in the UK in May 2021!

We visited The Sculpture Park in Farnham. There were hundreds! The video below captures just a few. Great day out.

Vlogging and capturing elements of our journey gives us memories and documents some wonderful experiences for Ange and Myself. If you enjoy them, or get inspired…that’s even better!

Video explains more than words:

In this YouTube exclusive series. Clange visit. Newquay, Japanese Garden, Eden Project, Land’s End, Boscastle : Museum of Witchcraft and Magic May 2021.

The 2020/2021 Covid Pandemic UK Lockdown: After an exercise filled start with clear blue skies and good weather lead, like many to ‘Sloth and troff’ behaviours and indulgences. (Or for some drinking and drugging to death) We just ate nice food. I needed a clear head for work. Alcohol just doesn’t help me with stress. My cure is meditation, creativity with music making, travel and good food.

We only scratched the surface of good food eateries in the short time we were in Cornwall. (More in the Adventures with Clange YouTube Videos) A big mention to Fore Street Cafe Bar in Newquay (Postcode Number 38 TR7 1LP) (parking with toilets for 20p is opposite (TR7 1HD) – get there early- Yes bring lots of 20ps and change for parking in Cornwall or set up card payment apps) We enjoyed some exquisite breakfasts and Cinnamon Bun take aways.

Opposite is a bakers that does and amazing Monkey Bread and Pain Au Chocolat at the Pavilion Bakery (37 TR7 1HD)

Also The Mexican Street Food VanEl Huichol

The Boathouse Charlestown does finger licking amazing crispy Calamari and burgers (Ange says its the best burger she has ever eaten)

A special doughnut (baked in Bude) and good cup of tea at Harbour Light Tea Garden opposite the Witch Museum (PL35 0AG)

Fore Street Cafe Bar Breakfast &
The Japanese Garden

A reminder when there is no Land Train! Our walking at The Eden Project (a great day out BTW) was not only painful. But a reminder in the mountain of fitness we both need to climb. Wearing masking in a tropical rainforest biome though… really is swelteringly unpleasant. Video here

Whereas Land’s End was a tourist ‘signpost’ and underwhelming disappointment. (We wecommend The Lizard) A distinct disgusting fishy smell that developed in our car was minging (watch the videos!) Boscastle was magical and intriguing. (We will spend more time in that area on our next visit) The Minack Theater was booked up. So again… next time.

Witchy adventures to The Merry Maidens and Museum of Witchcraft and Magic (Well worth spending time there. A treasure trove of info, history exhibits and artefacts) Did I mention I made a video of this in our Adventures With Clange vlog series.

Museum of Witchcraft and Magic Vlog

The beaches – especially Fistral Beach, Newquay. Was the tonic to our lockdown ailments. Filming in windy weather, up a cliff was refreshing, invigorating. The negative sea ions cleansed the last year of home pandemic imprisonments.

Filmed on Fistral Beach (in high winds) Music ‘Azure Oceans’ from my new album, Pilgrimage of Elements.

When I am amongst the beauty of nature. I am most alive. When I capture it. To accompany my music. It completes the circle. Performing music live is one of the best feelings.

We enjoyed and captured a beautiful sunset with surfers and beach dwellers too. It reminded me of the hippy vibes, as we sat on Benirrás Beach in Ibiza. Watching the sun go down a few years ago.

In Cornwall – there was space, great food (amazing breakfasts at Fore Street Cafe Bar in Newquay)

Massive thanks to our Airbnb hosts. Good value, lots of cats and really close to the beach.

Finishing with a very tasty Cornish Pasty from Boscastle Bakery.

As we continued our search in Cornwall for the vibes and location to permanently move to… Somerset’s beauty and greenery still beckons. So we aren’t ruling anything out.

I do feel really relaxed after this trip. We always miss our cats when away. We try to fuss every dog about on our trips.

Back to day job work next week.

The Pandemic pressures and events in the NHS for its staff, families and patients have frankly been horrific. It’s lead to a lot of contemplation of what I do and where we go next. To pay the bills. As yes there is a satisfaction of duty that I helped a little bit. There is also no job satisfaction with pressures and feeling helpless shielding, but still working from home during the worst. Now I’m back working on campus. Still feeling like the new girl. With my final module of my CIPS qualification. There is light at the end of the tunnel to fully focus on my passions.

My New Age Album ‘Pilgrimage of Elements’ (Earth Tree Healing) is released August 2021. Lockdown allowed me to embrace more productive time for my creativity and happiness. Whilst also doing more collaborative projects. I’ll be performing acoustically & vibrationally (guitar, hand pan & tongue drums) supporting meditations & community members at Lizian Events Well Being Markets & Pagan Tribal Gathering 2021. Back on the drum kit – Tightening bingo wings with Stinking Rita Band. I’ll also be focussing on my art.

Be well, be safe, explore.

~ Claudine

You can read more awakenings, experiences and what led to here in my Kindle book – Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.

Earth Tree Healing. New Age, Spiritual and instrumental music for meditation and relaxation Music links

You can also follow Adventures With Clange on our YouTube platform. These are mine, Ange’s records of trips, food, family. Check out the older playlists too from my Claudine West Channel.

I Lost The Dark at Dawn

As I lay in the bed uneasy. I knew, felt it, sensed it. Circling our log cabin, slowly. No noise. But it was there. I tried to tell myself it was just owls in the surrounding woods. I lay awake all night in a heightened state of terror.

Earlier that evening. Whilst enjoying a log burner, relaxing evening. I’d suddenly got a rush of dread, demanded that Ange immediately close and lock the patio doors and shut all curtains. Things can’t see in…

Something in the beginnings of that dark night summoned itself scared me deeply.

It has been a September stay in Somerset. With a hot tub, day trip to Lyme Regis, Adventures. We had arrived relieved and excited for a relaxing break.

I’ve always felt and sensed more than some. A curse in some ways. In others a blessing of super feelings. My dreams have always been graphically real, strange. If my passing from this life is as exciting and psychedelic as these and leads me to peace, I have no complaints! Walking through the veil can leave be miffed, disturbed and exhausted upon waking. It also brings fantastic feelings of hope, positivity Guardian Angel reassurance. They present a beautiful feminine and recognised energy to me and visit in differing forms.

When I encounter earth bound recognitions. It’s inspiring, gets me out of fugs and funks. Restores faith in the good souls.

Whatever ‘it’ was, I knew that if it had entered our cabin. If I’d have seen it. I would have been changed forever. I did feel danger physically.

I don’t believe it was just an animal either. I had werewolves and got myself in a right state about it for hours of restless terror.

When I told Ange about it the next morning. She had slept soundly. Putting it down to be de-stressing from work. I felt different and strongly disagreed.

I’ve never forgotten this experience. I would never be brave enough to confront what lurked that night. Apart from that one strange night. We had a wonderful time.

Do I fear dangerous humans? Or the darkness that lurks.

Moonlight, starry skies. The changing from dusk to dawn is magical. Some of formative years were spend sleepless and nocturnal. Working night shifts, walking home to the sunrise and comfort, deepest of sleep and daytime dreams.

The visitations more intense.

Going back ever younger, as a child. One night the multiple voices were chattering. In the room I shared with my Sister, in my head? I recall shouting “Stop!”

They did.

I’d sometimes think about skeletons, and feel a deep emptiness.

A curiosity with the great beyond has been present from early childhood.

Whatever gifts we are given. A certain responsibility comes with them.

How much to share before judgements are made? Sharing with the likeminded.

The fascinating mind, thoughts, experiences. Past lives, flashes, Deja vu. Regression, answers lead to acceptance and focus on journeys.

Spirituality, dimensions, spirits, esotericism, cryptozoology, UFO’s fascinate me.

When I moved back to live at my parents, after a ‘lost time’ renting rooms. Or the occasions before that when I’d stayed in my old bedroom.

I’d be asleep, or dozing. Suddenly.. I felt something approaching on the landing. It would enter the room (door closed) go to the end of the bed. Then walk up my legs and sit.

Initially I was silently freaked out. Feeling a physical presence. Not wanting to look in case I saw ‘it.’ Falling asleep and upon waking, telling myself it’s just me dreaming.

But the repetition. This entity didn’t feel bad. It’s felt quite positive. There energy, I can only describe as ‘shimmering.’

Fast forward to Ange and I getting together and embracing our spiritual path.

I mentioned it after another encounter. She instantly said – it’s your Grandads dog. She is looking after your dad.

It was Katie. A Yorkshire Terrier. ( now the size of the physical experience made sense )

I felt relief, emotional. I remember that doggie from childhood.

Ange helps others now with ‘house cleansing.’ If a spirit is causing a problem, it’s ok. Ange helps them into the light. Helps them release ties with this world. Sometimes they are stranded, stubborn, or just don’t realise they are dead. Scared to face the music after things they have done whilst alive..

Angela Barker Tarot House and business cleansing

When I was in the folk band ‘The Idolins’ we had met in a pub beer garden. A few drinks later. I was conversing with friend about some difficulties he was experiencing. It took a strange and frightening turn of events. I suddenly felt tight chested. Like something suddenly grabbed me. It felt like claws digging in. Freaking out I shouted Ange. She ‘saw it.’ Grabbed it and removed it.

I could breathe again. A dark entity? Soul, Demon? That when I realised Ange’s true abilities with these things. Some of the people there found it funny, sniggering. Spoke volumes to me.

Another realisation in life- when hanging about the wrong sorts – for me, not fitting in. Thinking all along, it’s my social insecurities. When all along – it’s just incompatibility. Being around genuine spiritual folk makes me far more comfortable. At that time I was opening up . My energies were open…. Maybe too open, when made me vulnerable to an attempted attachment of something. A lesson for me… it took a while… years.

Even though I’m very open about myself and beliefs. I thrive in good compatible company. It makes it so much easier to understand why I struggle so much in muggleland. The escape plan is very real… and enjoyable.

Whatever doors, a jar, fully opened. I think are part of my gifts. My creativity cannot be capped off, put away. It only bursts out with a happy vengeance. This is why the channeling of music is not only self therapy. But a life’s work. Maybe angels, others are speaking through my fingers. As like I’ve said before. I have very few memories of performing. The ‘trance’ is blissful. The result recorded sounds wonderful to me. I don’t question it. I just go with it with gratitude.

There was a flat we lived in Basford. A previous relationship and girlfriend that also saw dead people. My Grandma Ivy ( I think ) … a blond woman sat regularly at the end of our bed often. Something terrifying, claustrophobic lurked there, it was a very unhealthy place that made me ill – as well as the damp. my girlfriend moved out. My mum ended up

kicking off with the estate agents. Before I moved to a house. I ended up getting dumped, truly heart broken and went through a messy time, a lonely time, a self destructive time. From this.. getting dragged into other peoples dramas… has done me no good in life. The older I get. The effects and mental drain get worse. Even though I have a bursting desire to genuinely help others. I have to walk away and shut off. I’m not a councillor or therapist. Practice of Reiki, music, thrashing the cross trainer, good food and meditation. The love of Ange, our pets, family, good friends… Adventures and spiritual positive living help me.

I may have an active imagination. But I pick up ‘vibes.’ I just have a radar of highly attuned sensitivity to some things. Whilst switching off to a lot of what I feel – mundane day to day stuff.

Then there was the happenings at flat at Bestwood Park….the chains….ancient burial grounds….. when I woke and saw him.

Big high five to the weirdos, the unaccepted, the folks on your spirituality journeys. It’s a hell of a ride.

You can read more awakenings, experiences and what led to here in my Kindle book – Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit.

Earth Tree Healing. New Age, Spiritual and instrumental music for meditation and relaxation Music links

You can also follow Adventures With Clange on our YouTube platform. These are mine, Ange’s records of trips, food, family. Check out the older playlists too from my Claudine West Channel.