Unexpected! I’m made up about it. I love good surprises. This album was composed and recorded during the lockdowns. It gave me strength, distraction and for me, has some powerful invocation music for honouring.
2020-2022 (so far) have been some of the strangest times I’ve known. Some people have struggled and they have become the worst version of themselves. Others have embraced, adapted and flourished. My deepest sympathies go out if you have lost loved ones or even lost yourself.
I rediscovered a part of me and have been lavishing in it ever since.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge” Albert Einstein.
Some of us are more suited academically, some are a bit of both. Some soar into genius. But are the gifted also cursed? Some have good memories for studying facts and are able to articulate a spin cycle in a washing machine, full of ‘already said’ drivel. Then get a reward of a piece of paper that says they have studied a subject well. Then do what with that knowledge? Save the bees, create more happiness, discover the cure? Go and do a job they hate? If you love your job, what do you do? What did you do to get it and get happy in it? What led you down a path of change for the better?
I’ve made peace with the fact that – whilst I do enjoy an interesting (to me) documentary and learn things. Education, learning, courses are no longer for me. I’ve only ever done them for day job career advancement. I have a very short attention span with these things and can often fall unconscious. It feels like a hamster wheel. Saying that… I’ve most likely lost out of some really good things being this way too! I now embrace learning and experiencing opportunities that enhance vibrations and visualizations.
With the creative spectrum. Some swing on an extreme pirate ship pendulum, into realms few understand. Some sit on the edge of a volcanic lava lake of madness. Some cannot cope with their gifts and ‘normality’ brings them isolation, boredom, despair. It’s also worth looking at how open your crown chakras is.
Whilst some enjoy pottering through life watching soaps and scandals. Its not for me. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to only have that as a satisfaction for recreation/pleasure/leisure and enjoy it… Then I shiver at the thought. I find long bouts in front of the TV makes be feel I’m wasting my life. So I just don’t do it.. unless poorly or exhausted having a movie night. My drive is my pressure and my self pressure is my drive. That is not a bad thing. It also helps me relax.
Creatives strive to imagine and produce their best work. Leaving legacies. Some are never satisfied, whilst surrounded by praise. Their talent often undiscovered. If not social media or marketing savvy and shy, it’s easy to be weirded out. When the internet arrived, opportunities came a knocking. It also created overkill. A tidal wave of everything. Too much.
So few shine bright enough to stand out. Self belief, stamina and perseverance is the choice between paving the road for success, sustainability and satisfaction. Or giving up. It just takes one person to like one thing you do.. or one door to open into Narnia! the world is vast.
Words, reputation, ideas and good things get shared. Put a bunch of great musicians in a room, let them jam and you get something raw, improvised and pretty darn wild. 😉 That’s me on drums BTW. – Stinking Rita.
Art covers our walls, some of it will stay, some will be sold, some is commissioned, some is gifted. I love making it. Others love viewing and collecting it. Which is fabulous.
I struggle, sometimes with bouts of melancholy. I mostly put it down to day job stresses. When I’ve worked in mundane jobs, or in my NHS Career. ‘My crack at a responsible job.’ I suffer the same troubles. Maybe I am just not meant to do that? The universe is telling me to just do the things that makes me happy. Art and music. But sensible chatty head makes me pay my way. Relying on benefits is not for me.
My mission 2022 onwards is making enough money from my creativity, taking the leap of faith to survive. As one gets older, one seeks more comforts. I am also super sensitive and in tune with vibes. If you put me around negative folk, I go on that one way rollercoaster, riding that sponge to Hell!
I have to constantly practice ‘self shielding’ and protecting myself can be draining when caught off guard, yet set routines can help prevent suffering when joy vacuums pop up unexpectedly. Put me in a field of flowers with blue skies with laughter… Put me amongst positive people. We attract the seekers of healing. Its just who we are.
Yesterday I nearly resigned, I’d seriously had enough. I am tired. Work is affecting me in very negative ways, its creating arguments at home. My moods are shit. But last night I slept, exhausted. I slept really, really well for the first time in ages! I feel full of vitality today. A supportive colleague today said that laughter at work helped. All I want to do is scream and cry. My job is far from the worst of them. I will also add that the current government should be ashamed!
I seek peace and comfort. I’ve not had a proper break for months. Many others are far worse off than myself. So I’m grateful. But it still doesn’t stop me feeling low, helpless, loyal to the NHS but living in despair. Whilst some are able to work from home. I’m a few steps away from the front line. But my pity party continues… big respect and thanks to my colleagues/ team who are working / multi tasking, going far above and beyond their job remit. Short staffed but a big family who are supporting me in dark moments.
Massive gratitude to Richard and Norma at the weekend for their hospitality. I’ve never needed a gong bath so much!
I’ve been eating so much veg, (especially avocado’s) to feel good inside and to combat my winter dark mood. Toilets and Ange my wifey are not thanking me though! That’s on top of vitamin D 365 days a year and a few other supplements. Going for weekend walks in the wilderness is healing.
I believe in enjoying my journey with creativity. I’m humble at praise. I pity the person that ‘just wants fame and huge monetary reward.’ The art and pleasure is in ‘making’ the art. Fame hunger is an empty egotistical want in my opinion. But if life was fair and just, non of us would have anything to bicker and bitch about. Imagine the concept – when there is just happiness….
My own happiness: I am confident that I create things that satisfy me. So if others like it.. Then that my friends.. is even better. In a world full of imitations and 12 music notes to choose from. Where is there to go? There is a cosmic piano that we play that takes us to multiple dimensions in our spirit and imagination. What a ride!
Whilst it is very easy for me to crawl into bed in an evening during January after a demoralizing, challenging and soul destroying day working in the NHS during the ‘Omicron’ surge. I want to break free…my solution and survival tactics? Well….
Alas there is a way that is getting me through. Like I’ve said. Whilst I’ve had many moments ready to throw the towel in through extra workload piled on, frustrations, burnout covering staff sickness, wanting to escape it. Do I hope my feelings change? Or is it the reason to leave? As the suffering upon my physical and mental health is not good. For one that likes to focus on projects uninterrupted. I chose the wrong job! I always chose the wrong day job…
For myself. I love creating stuff. Whether that be art, sculpture or music. I’m not one to recreate a photograph. I interpret. I create abstract. with music, I create melody, rhythm, calm. Both generate good feelings whether on the eyes, fingers or ears. You can very much benefit from vibrations without listening. Sound Therapy/ Gong Baths. – If I would have found them 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have done a lot of the self destructive things I’ve done to myself.
I’d never class myself as ‘normal.’ I just have a different thought process. An odd child. I tried to eat bumble bees. (I have no memory of this) Shyness has ruled, social uncomfortableness.. some days I’m ok. Some I cant bear to be around people. My mind chatters like you would not believe. But creating and not surprisingly meditation shuts it up. This works for me.
I have always been creative. A gift or learned? From crayons to paints, from keyboards to guitars, drums and many other instruments… I only know I enjoy it and find it easy to do. That doesn’t mean I haven’t practiced it and dedicated my life. I have. Things flow easy like a stream. I often think I’m a conduit. A human that channels ‘things.’ I don’t have to think too much. I simply set an intention. I’m well practiced at this, like anything, it didn’t just happen over night. Decades of commitment. Rewarded with a body of work, enjoyment and experience. The end result of ‘going with the flow’ is very lovely. Like my abstract art and improvised musical performances, this blog will be rife with grammatical errors. Perfection is not for me.
Imagination and my Tribe: I’ve always had vivid dreams. The tiniest element of ‘normal or not.’ Reality can warp into something truly freaky, occasionally very nice. What I put in – is what I get out on my sleepy time movies, experiences.
Dimensions, dreams of flying, spirit guides… Often have I connected with someone, I’ve been intrigued. I don’t mean sexually like a predator—oh nooooo!!!… but intrigued at what makes them shine.. to me anyway. Whilst walking down a crowded street, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.. The masses look grey to me. But put me at a concert at Hyde Park in London or a festival/gigs with true music lovers and the masses look vibrant. Maybe bonding with the energies with like – minded music lovers? = My Tribe.
If I’m actively engaging with people. It means I’m interested, collaborating. If I’m not. They have either fallen of my radar and I’m not being rude… or being rude – I have no interest. That sounds really terrible… But it’s the truth. I drift…..
I’m not sure if there is a ‘Claud forever’ gang. I have drifted through short lived friendships, acquaintances, a couple of intriguing harmless obsessions/crushes. One night stands and a few relationships. (Not including my life relationship with Ange, who is my world) In my experience, some have taught me valuable lessons and then it was time to move on. I’ve never departed from my musical instruments. Whilst did put my art to bed from time to time.
What I do know is that I’m most alive when creating. “Everything has beauty. but not everyone sees it.” Confucius
With art, I don’t use words. With composition, I don’t use words. Mixing colours, tones, melodies to create beautiful things is marvelous.
View some of my art creations:
My personal ethos: Creating colourful oil paintings and music brings me the kind of satisfaction.. when you feel really, really well, healthy. When you get the double flake in a Mr Whippy ice cream. When you lay on grass on a perfect day, staring up into the big blue beautiful skies. Making out images in the clouds. The touch, or words that gives one butterflies. When you see and feel something so wonderful. It shakes your very soul.
Satisfaction…When you get to the summit of the mountain, or the top of a hill, small or large and it HURTS! Or just make it through the day alive.
With my art and music; I feel I have contributed. I have paid it forward. That I am giving pleasure to the people. Not all the people, as one cannot expect all to enjoy ones offerings. But that gives me satisfaction. It gives me purpose. After I’ve departed. There will be a body of works left. I’m certainly not taking them into the next plane/ spirit level.
I’ve got to say. Music life is a good life. I enjoy it immensely. Whilst in some ways I regret not pursuing it more vigorously when younger, one is never too old to vigorously pursue ones loves. I was too busy/stupid in some ways escaping the world – getting drunk and stoned, but productive song writing and recording music in home studios. Maybe I held myself back? Or maybe all of that led to this and the now.
Then there is blissful silence. It gives me space to breathe and really focus. I do not have music blaring constantly. I like to focus, when I focus. Distractions when I’m focusing and being pestered brings out the worst in me. I’m short tempered, moody, snappy and overreact. I do this to loved ones and not to strangers. I should not do this at all. Why the rush to create so much..? Time will tell. It’s a conviction, an urge, a volcano. I cannot resist the impulse. I cannot ignore it. It wont let me. It a burning desire. An addiction that’s detox is misery and feeling worthless and frustrated. It’s not easy being me.
Creativity awakens my Kundalini
In my mind – I cannot fathom getting any pleasure (and I know many people do) out of doing a puzzles or a jigsaw that creates a picture. I would just paint a picture if I needed to pass the time. I find passing the time, I’m wasting time. Or being taught how to paint like Bob Ross. It is copying. Same as covers bands who get the claps and praise. They are a copy. Nothing kudos or new about it. Creating a ‘one off’ is so much better for keeps. Now this is not being arrogant and cocky or superior. It’s just the way I think, Its my opinion in my head. I drive my own frustrations basically…Yes I piss myself off.
When not doing the above. We travel, explore…I immensely enjoy the journey, sometimes am a little sad at the arrival destination. My relaxation is exploring the destination, its culture, its sights, food, offerings. Memory banking. The return home is never good. Even though our little house is our home, we love our pets and miss them. The city where we live is not our destiny. We are constantly drawn elsewhere. My soul drives me on an endless road looking.. searching for that perfect spot where I can rest.
When tired after a challenging day in winter. I’ll get in bed in an evening with the cats and indulge in YouTube. I am currently addicted to Mav, Cecilia Blomdahl, Eamon & Bec, Sailing La Vagabonde, Kinging -It, The exPAWers, Elsa Rhae & Barron, Jonna Jinton, Girl in the Woods, Earthfiles, The Endless Adventure, Eva Zu Beck, Bush Radical, Max & Occy, My Self Reliance, Casey Neistat, Adventures with Clange 😉 (I thank Lockdown for finding them and more) I did begin watching Secrets of the Whales on Disney channel. Had to turn it off once they showed seals being ripped apart… Yes its nature… but it upsets me. If I watch a horror film (rarely now – going back to the dream thing!) no amount of gore bothers me. But a real living thing suffering, scared… Nope, nope, nope. Yet I still eat meat. Not a lot of it.
Evening viewing could range from UFO’s, aliens, the cosmos, spiritual journeys, werewolf sightings, Big foot. Last night I watched on YouTube ‘Meet the Mennonites: Inside the Ultra-Conservative Community – ENDEVR documentary’ I took from this their contentment, but they knew only what they had experienced, mostly the simple life of education, building, religion, family set tasks and expectations and survival without societies expectations or pressures. But in some ways missing out on games, travel to see beautiful new places, try new foods. Well it is not for them.
I also watched‘Poverty in the World’s Richest Country: Meet the USA’s Poorest People – AMERICAN Poverty Documentary’ From YouTube Java Discover – Free Global Documentaries & Clips. It brought a lump to my throat and tears. In this age. People should not have to live in cars, in streets, in tents getting leftover display pizza for food. This doc was only a snapshot following a few people’s lives. For whatever reason people end up like that, whether it was due to circumstance changes. I counted my blessings last night. After a terrible Monday at work. Which followed on from a challenging 8 months, with more and more pressure and expectation without resource
This is where the balance and the joy come in. Creativity drives me, its compulsive; it makes me happy, satisfied. I’ve learned how to pick up a brush and pallet knife and slap paint on a canvas. I pick up an instrument and make notes, combine them, layer instruments, like paint and try to make something colourful. I create vibrations that travel forever. What a beautiful gift to give. When my bones turn to dust.. creatives continue…
Breathing fresh crisp clean air in a forest is revitalizing. 2 years later (and watching a lot of YouTube travel vloggers) after being safe and hidden, consumed in darkness, sometimes fear. Sometimes within the catacombs of surrendering happiness from the escape from society. Even for just moments of meditations. Comfort and creativity… seeking calm in 2022.
I suppose it, with that I mean winter, workload and lockdowns for me was like being stuck underwater for a while, unable to fully feel and breath. The urge to do better with being SAD in January had made me angry. I’m not dwelling on winter viruses, I am counting my blessings that I’ve not been touched by the worst of ‘them’ I’m no longer speaking of the ‘C’ word or ‘O’ variant.. But December was pretty snotty, irritatingly sinus headache heavy! I am tired of it. I’m exhausted at the aftermath. With that comes the need to recharge and be revitalized. Time to break the surface and cause wellbeing ripples. Life is short, experience it. Whilst enjoying lost of tasty fruit and vegetables and no so much ‘naughty food.’
Our solution. We are getting outside walking in the light on weekends. Rain, snow, fog, or sunshine and blue skies like we had last week. A beautiful morning in local place called Thieves Wood. We live in Robin Hood County, Nottinghamshire. We have plenty of green options to explore. There is always an opportunity for a road trip.. Even just for tea and cake! Whilst I adore the sea and its recharge and cleansing ability. There is so much opportunity in this green and pleasant land that is good for the mind, body and soul. My focus now wanders in this wonder.
I needed a tree hug and had one. Beautiful experience. Absorbing stresses, worries, frustrations and returning love, reassurance, peace. Walking amongst them in awe at their vastness, age and good vibes. Clearing my head, amongst them… Whilst some stand bare waiting the springtime buds of blossoms. Some are evergreen and majestic.
We were lucky to spot a deer roaming in the distance. There is something magical about standing on the Earth amongst Trees in silence listening, breathing, Healing. Which is where Earth Tree Healing originated. I just put music to it.
Trees communicate through their roots. They carry past memories, nutrients. The changing seasons and cycles of life. They nurture the earth. They release oxygen and help us breathe. Many love the tree of life symbol.
If you are able..go hug a tree. breathe the fresh air. It will do you a world of good.
What an exquisite journey adventuring in this world…and beyond.
The arrival of my new album is new to you but old to me, as have enjoyed it months in advance. I held it back for release in ‘22 as got ahead of myself recording. Lockdown for me was a productive home studio blissful indulgence for musical hermits. I hope you get the same enjoyment listening to these, finding favorites, creating playlists of my music, as I do composing, recording and performing them. There is a favorite section/ bridge in The Triple Goddess 2 mins 46 seconds in that I love. It is the sound of love and divinity to my ears.
The follow up from my Earth Tree Healing album Goddess. (Track Goddess Temple is a worldwide favourite) Which accompanies the album GODS. Goddess 2 is released Second February Twenty Twenty Two. 2.2.22.
I composed and recorded it at my home studio ‘Claudsville Studios‘ (which is also my meditation and art space and its way to small) most of it during the lockdowns of 2020/2021. I assure you! .. it was a great escape from the doom, gloom, loss and restrictions, fears and benefits of the Pandemic too. Without being a sign of the times. It is a captured reflection of my creativity during strange times, leaning to the advice, support, protection, love of Deities.
Its an ode and a conduit to connect. Music of dedication, essence. The Divine femininity of Deities. An album dedicated to melody, beauty and esoteric rhythms. Whilst there are lots of Goddesses to chose from. These are relevant, synchronistic and were chosen during this particular journey. You can go about your routines, rituals, relaxation to it. Whilst my partner Ange taught some of these Goddesses during her workshops via Zoom. I recorded their resonance.
Track Listing: I’ve selected articles for links on the name titles to articles on these Goddesses. But please do research for in-depth understandings.
The Triple Goddess The three goddesses Persephone, Demeter and Hekate are the original triple goddess, each an aspect of the one great goddess:- Persephone the maiden, Demeter the mother and Hekate the crone or older goddess.
Demeter The Olympian goddess of the harvest and agriculture, presiding over grains and the fertility of the earth.
Isis The ancient Egyptian goddess of fertility and is also known as the goddess of motherhood, magic, death, healing, and rebirth.
Venus is a Roman goddess, whose functions encompassed love, beauty, desire, sex, fertility, prosperity, and victory.
Áine is an Irish goddess of summer, wealth and sovereignty. She is associated with midsummer and the sun.
Blodeuwedd Goddess of flowers, emotions, the wisdom of innocence and initiation ceremonies. She is also known as the Ninefold Goddess of the Western Isles of Paradise.
Frigg in Norse mythology is the goddess of motherhood and is herself the mother of Balder, Hodor and Hermod. Frigg is also the goddess of marriage and her name comes from the verb “fríja” = to love.
Freya is a goddess associated with love, beauty, fertility, sex, war, gold and seiðr.
Lilith Was the first wife of Adam who left the Garden of Eden and became the mother of demons and the supreme empress of Hell. She is also credited as the creator of the Turok-Han, an ancient species of vampire, and is thus regarded as the Mother of Vampires.
Nemesis Nemesis was the goddess of divine retribution and revenge, who would show her wrath to any human being that would commit hubris, i.e. arrogance before the gods.
SaraswatiThe Hindu goddess of knowledge, music, art, speech, wisdom, and learning.
Mawu is a creator goddess, associated with the Sun and Moon in Dahomey mythology. Mawu’s themes are creativity, Universal Law, passion, abundance, birth, and inspiration.
The Triple Goddess single released for Samhain 2021, from album Goddess 2 (released 2022) Much is written and practiced in various cultures. In Wiccan/Neopagan traditions. Honoring femininity of Maiden, Mother, Crone. Symbolizing differing moon phases. The moon waxing crescent, full moon, and a waning crescent. I composed in 3 parts with the intent of beauty, ritual, empowerment, moon phases and magic, darkness.
Its a beautiful piece of ambient new age synthesizer music I hope many will embrace and enjoy.
With dreams of flying, meditations on my egg chair, surrounded by brilliant vibrations and the things, people and animals I love with all of my being. Single Reverie (Meditation) by Earth Tree Healing is a relaxing 7 minute ambient 432Hz soundscape. It’s available to stream, add to your playlists and download for digital stores.
Track listing 1. Werifesteria 2. Divine Journey 3. Azure Oceans 4. Anima 5. Pilgrimage of Elements 6. Agartha 7. Sacred Fire 8. Azure Oceans (Riptide Mix)
This album is an exploration of ambient soundscapes. Most of the track are over 9 minutes long. It has been my escape form the darkness into the womb. Into safety… Recorded during the 2020/2021 lockdown when the mood and need for escape to meditational landscapes took hold. Even upon returning to work from working from home, I’ve played it. Its a comforting partner, accompanying me now I’ve embraced creating new oil paintings after a few very busy years of day job and qualification studies, oh and that pandemic too.
When we were ‘allowed out’ finding remote places to explore and wander. Whilst it was hard missing family and friends in person. The need for peaceful visual countryside experiences, void of crowds has never left me.
The definition of my life – Werifesteria ‘to wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery.’ I’m always searching. I find it in my dreams and meditations. Seeking it as the human experience on this planet is ongoing. The Divine Journey that my healing room/music home studio/art studio and garden which has partly wilded itself the last year has been a tiny paradise.
We had not travelled abroad with trips cancelled and postponed until 2022. We did manage a trip to Cornwall, UK. Sitting watching the waves crash on Fistral Beach in Newquay. Re energised my very being. It was just beautiful. Cool vibes.
Agartha has intrigued me as after switching the news off. I’d watch lots of travel videos on YouTube. I’ve further explored outer worlds, inner worlds, ancient myths, facts and speculations.
Sacred Fire was built around tribal drumming recorded on my iPhone at a Pagan Festival – Pagan Tribal Gathering. Twice now cancelled due to the pandemic. I now have a brand new portaloo and solar shower sat in my garden shed waiting to be used or ready for an apocalypse.
The last track is my surf inspired remix of Azure Oceans. I hope it brings mellow vibes and cosmic journeys to all who listen. I find it accompanied my album ‘They Architect The Stars’ well.
I just finished the album – Goddess 2. Pretty pleased as I’m ahead in album composition and recording in my home studio – which has been my lockdown sanctuary and a hub of productivity. As well as the ambient ‘Pilgrimage of Elements’ releasing at the end of August 2021. I’m all set for Goddess 2.
My Track ‘The Triple Goddess’ musically entertains 3 sections to represent each part.
Vlog and music clips here: (restricted mode)
I’ve rearranged the album track order, to begin the journey with a more haunting, ethereal feel. As there area a few upbeat and melodic tracks.
Whilst my Altar worships the Goddess and her forms. I also wanted to accompany my popular track ‘Goddess Temple’ with The Triple Goddess.
Creating art is an exquisite experience. To release colour, shapes, visions, abstracts into surfaces, objects is something that I’ve enjoyed from childhood. Our home is filled with it. Alas it’s time to progress and create more to sell for more collectors to enjoy. I can’t take it with me when I pop my Clogs… and only my Vlogs and music remain.
Time to not glance at the horrors of the news, the manipulations of facts, the speculations and opinions that only lead to dark thoughts and times.
My clouds are colourful. As my hands age… each second.. each moment. I make the most of my every day dexterity. I choose legacy and bliss. Thank the power of Specsavers for Varifocals in ones mid 40’s!
My latest work in progress:
Creating a Crystal Guitar. Energy Art – Claudine West – Video.